Friday, April 28, 2017

The most difficult area to tone

When people decide to get fit and tone their muscles there is one area that they almost always forget to work on.

Happily if you visit the Club Med Gym in Tunisia they will help you tone your Abdominal buttocks and that's really not easy to do.

And then later you can swim with a "Douce."

Abdominal Buttocks In Tunisia





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Ghost cheese the special

Ghost cheese

A while ago they used Goats Cheese with the Grilled Vegetables but it never caught on!

I have a feeling that neither will Ghost Cheese, but then I'm not a Panini specialist.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Ever fancied hiring a Donkey? Well you're in luck!

What sort of occasions

What sort of occasions?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

My what an unusual name!

My what an unusual name

You don't see many of them around! Do you?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Monday, April 24, 2017

A lock of influence

Well thats all clear then

Well that's clear then!

I like an open handed approach don't you?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Friday, April 21, 2017

What are they selling?

Well I understand the battery bit

Why when I need to change batteries would I require an internal repair patch or Nitrogen?

Or hang on, do I need those things so that I can arrange my Euphrates or mobilise my Freon?

And why are the maps so heavy that when they pick them up and drop them on the counter the sales assistants are need to say "Hopa!"

If anyone knows what this sign is about and why on earth the shop used it I sort of envy them, not a lot though!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Can't get the whites right?

If you want to have sparkling white washing but have trouble getting your whites right then you usually take it to a laundry.

Here's one to avoid!

Very grey





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Another naughty hound destined for the pound

One more pooch headed to the pound I expect!

12

I think he knew he had done wrong, but he doesn't look that full up does he!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Useful traffic information from India

It's best to be warned, isn't it!

Useful traffic information from India

Even about the obvious!

If you need a laugh do go to the website of owner of the obvious sign, the Raintree EcoHotel Chennai where "you can enjoy smartly designed rooms."

Obviously rooms are designed by someone 'smart' that's encouraging! What is a little less encouraging is what they have to say about service.

"At The Raintree Hotels, we understand the essence of personalized service, that helps us take care of you in all ways possible."

So they understand the 'essence' of personalised service, but nothing else, they don't use that understanding to look after guests all of which means, to use their own words... "The Raintree is not just any hotel, it is an experience!" Ha har!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Friday, April 14, 2017

A clean approach to senior care

Like Cats, as humans get older they start to dribble and drool which is ok, even a little cute. But sadly the effects of age don't stop there for some because begin to smell.

Happily now there is a place where the problem of odourful seniors can be dealt with, cost efficiently and speedily, with little or no harm coming to the seniors themselves.

Wash and vac seniors





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Thursday, April 13, 2017

What do the royal family and millennials have in common?

In a recent study critical of 'millennials' researches discovered that among 25 to 34 yr olds up to 77% couldn’t fix a bike puncture and 68 per cent can’t wire a plug.

Apparently a third of young adults can't change a lightbulb and quarter say they can’t even boil an egg!

All of which leads observers to worry about what the future will be like for these rather helpless individuals!

Sadly observers have missed out on studying a group of individuals who have never had to do any of the mundane chores millennials are so inept at performing.

All they had to do was to observe the british royal family.

Below is an example of just how inept this bunch really is.

Recently the head of "the firm" as she likes to call it, the queen, advertised in the Standard newspaper for someone to continue a tradition of servitude.

"Royal Shoe Breaker-Inner Required"

Person required to break in shoes on behalf of her majesty.

Requirements. Small foot.

Warning: Must not have smelly feet. This is very important.

Pampered Royal

Of course the queen is not the only helpless soul in that family, just take an objective look at the rest of them! Something royal watchers sadly never do!

Oh one last point, can millennials break in their own shoes? Of course they can, they aren't that useless or feeble!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Waterproof paint also available, in this store

Water proof paint also available

If only they had a paint specialist!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Watch out for the Apes while using the fridge!

Watch out for the Apes

In Gibraltar you have to be careful when you shop for goodies because of thieving Apes, yet another reason to give the place back to its rightful owner.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Friday, April 07, 2017

How to save water (and money) in the catering industry

Washed on Thursday

Oh and they are washed only on Thursdays!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Thursday, April 06, 2017

Buy into an unfortunate life style here!

Unfortunate Life Style

'The' store for nonsense furniture, fixtures and fitting that takes interior design down to a level never previously experienced.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Wednesday, April 05, 2017

A dessert for Golfers

Unusual puds

I believe it comes on four plates, with custard.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Tuesday, April 04, 2017

Under repair and water!

Under repair and water

By the looks of it the ground needs a lot of attention.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

Monday, April 03, 2017

Some where to have a jolly good time

A special place in Newfoundland!

A special place in Newfoundland

And now for the dildo joke!

A young man started work at a Sex shop after a long time of being unemployed. After several days his boss told him that he had been called away to head office for the afternoon and the young man will be in charge until he gets back.

The young man is very reluctant to look after the shop on his own, but following his boss's compliments about how good a worker he has been and what a fast learner he is, and the fact that it's a Wednesday and Wednesday afternoons are very quiet the young man eventually agrees to look after the shop.

For most of the afternoon the shop is empty, but twenty minutes before closing time a white woman comes in.

She asks. "How much is the white dildo?"

He answers. "$35."

Then she asks. "How much is the black one?"

The young man replies. "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."

After thinking for a while she says. "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before!" She pays him, and she leaves happy with her purchase.

At ten minutes before closing time a young black woman comes in and asks "How much is the black dildo?"

The young man replies. "$35."

After thinking for a while the black woman asks. "How much is the white dildo?"

The young man smiles and says. "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."

The black woman thinks for a while and says. "Hmmm...I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one before." She pays him, and leaves happy with her purchase.

One minute before closing time a very attractive blonde woman enters the shop and asks. "How much are your dildos?"

The young man confidently replies. "$35 for the white, $35 for the black."

After thinking for an instant the young blond woman asks. "Hmmmmm....how much is that tartan one up there on the shelf?"

The young man thinks for a moment and then says. "Well, that's a very special dildo... it's $165."

The young blond woman thinks for a while and then slowly says. "I'll take the tartan one, I've never had a tartan one before." She pays for the dildo and leaves very happy with her purchase.

After the she leaves the young man's boss returns as the young man is cashing up and asks. "How did you do while I was gone?"

The young man very happily says. "Oh I did really well for a Wednesday afternoon, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo.

"That's great said the boss."

"But I have a confession to make!"

Oh yes, what's that asks the boss, looking around for evidence of a minor catastrophe.

"Um!" Begins the young man. "I sold your thermos flask! But I got $165 for it!"





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."