Friday, September 30, 2016

This is a bit obvious isn't it?

Cyprus

Ok it's altering this sign has produced something rather funny, but is there a more sinister reason for the joke, I suppose we could ask the Spa owner next door who has a green felt tip marker in his hand, couldn't we!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Food for 'bigs' in Canada

A store for those with a large appetite, or of course a glandular problem (yeah right!).

Food for bigs Canada





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

All the rage in Novosibrisk!

Admittedly it's cold in Novosibirsk in the winter, -30C odd is cold by anyone's standards but would the cold persuade you to wear these?

Bloomers

And I only want answers from my female readers please gentlemen and cross dressing government ministers and cabinet members!

Although I'll admit a size that is XXXXL would fit even my largest gender confused reader wouldn't it?

If you are interested in the brand, well "Chuangyahe" is 'Yellow River' in Russian. It's nice to see that a Chinese product sold (hopefully) only in Russia has the rest of the text and I can assure you the washing instructions on the obverse written in English, probably adds a little caché to the entire endeavour I imagine.

Oh...! Like me have you just noticed that the 'model's' navel or the seam of the ensemble, for want of a better word though 'bloomer' came to mind, is really rather off centre. Actually on closer inspection neither the seam nor the navel are in the middle of the torso, what a sad tortured model that poor (hopefully again) lady must be!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Very exotic food from Beijing

More exotic food Beijing

Stewed Camel's what?

That's a pretty worrying menu item isn't it?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Cuba turns to Google for translations

Cuba

Another brilliant job done by Google translate!

People ask me, "what is it I hate about Google?" The answer is simple 'everything!'

I'm adversed too being spied on, having my email read, my search actions recorded and if I had the awful new messaging service, my private conversations listened into!

It's bad enough when this sort of underhand stuff is done in the name of 'national security,' or in the case of the Russians listening into to the US and Europe 'national insecurity,' but when it's a corporation doing it to profile individuals for profit I draw a line and yes they will probably snoop on that line!

No wonder the bastards dropped the "do no evil" tag they used to smirk behind!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

More trouble than it's worth?

Koh Talu Thailand Well this hotel in Koh Talu, Thailand didn't cover the murdering of tourists but otherwise the list of things that will make your stay simply horrible is rather complete in this never-humble Cat's opinion. Although I visited Thailand for my Travelogue the Tourist Board were rather generous and enabled me to keep their dirt safely swept under the carpet. As a fair assessor of the worst holiday destinations and indeed visitor of destinations of the world which should be avoided at all costs I allow each government or tourist board to buy the withering description of their country out of my Travelogue. This lucrative arrangement did rather make The Travelogue a much slimmer tome than my first masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from as Cat's Diary' but I have to say far more lucrative in up front and I have to stress 'recurring' payments! Sorry I'm only stressing the recurring payments because a few countries are slightly over due transferring this years payments, but that may well be caused by the inordinately complicated tax avoidance scheme you know similar to the ones that Vodaphone's, Apple's and a load of dodge tax avoiding corporations use to swindle the very consumers they rely upon to make the obscene profits that would have been taxed properly if... well you get my drift. This "snazzy arrangement" (their words not mine) was set up by my management consultants and tax accountants and includes, but not exclusively, double invoicing, tax spreading and "quadra tripartite reverse payments" through Ireland, Luxembourg, the UK and most if not all of the other money laundering, tax avoiding countries of the world. If you need to laugh out loud and have missed the opportunity to read my Travelogue for some awful reason, then I do recommend clicking the link here and in no time at all (if you buy an ePub version) or several days if you buy the beautiful softcover one with an illustration by yours truly on the back cover.

Travelogue by John Woodcock





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The terrible side effects of "Joy Juice!"

Giving up a poo Penang Malaysia

It's not uncommon in Penang, Malaysia to see desperate Joy Drinkers start to kick the poo which extensively covers the side walks, happily Penang is one of the dog poo on sidewalk capitals of the world and so there is plenty to spread around for all!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Monday, September 19, 2016

If you got one flaunt it, tell the world!

Decent toilets in the land of Delhi belly are so rare that if you have a bathroom with a urinal (no matter how you spell it) then it is worth putting up a sign.

If you got it flaunt it India

India is one of the places that I never want to go back to again! My editor even censored the chapter on it in my now famous Travelogue.

Travelogue by John Woodcock

This marvellous tome is famous for dissing more countries than any other travelogue in history, I am proud to tell you.

Would you believe that some of the ambassadors of the hellholes (oops countries) I mistakenly visited actually complained about my wonderful, unputdownable, book?

No I can't believe it either but they did! No taste that what I say!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

If you read Chinese are you in for a treat!

Great news! My first book, 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary,' which has been regularly described as a masterpiece of feline literature, is currently being translated into Chinese! Yes I know, how about that? And after all of the dreadful menu and sign translations I've published. The Chinese have obviously forgiven me and decided that they love the book and want everyone to read it.

I have to say I want everyone in China to read it too, because there are loads of potential customers bless them.

First page of my book in Chinese

You do think that the Chinese have forgiven me for things like this...

A place to be alone Hong Kong

... and they aren't just kidding me and printing some awful jumbled version of my book? They wouldn't do that to me would they, I'm nice and cuddly and have wonderful teeth and whiskers, ok my breath smells a bit fishy and burp... my table manners leave something to be desired but I am nice, honest!

Oh I thought of a title for the picture above!

"A place to be alone Hong Kong!" Har ha!

I'm done for aren't I?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' will be available in China, aren't the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Monday, September 12, 2016

Sun worshipper!

Lets all tan together

Dear Lord let's tan!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Thursday, September 08, 2016

This should be read in the voice of a yokel

Dorset Oh the people of Dorset, them do like a larf!

But you have to admit as my good friend Teagan the Black Cocker Spaniel will tell you there are few places better to live.

Speaking of Teagan the Black Cocker Spaniel she has a blog, and a very fine one it is too, with great pictures of the landscape of Dorset, occasionally picturing an extremely good looking Cat called Pickle and some dogs... if you like that sort of thing! The dogs that is.

Now my friend Teagan some time ago started a new blog because she had filled up her first, the new address is "Teagan Times Too", seems reasonable doesn't it? So why oh why do new followers follow the old one? Sometimes I think that humans are very hard of understanding!

Oh by the way Teagan if you read this you owe me, and not Tripe or a bone that's been buried for a couple of months... thank you! I'll take some real currency, Prawns go down nicely this time of year! Or you could visit Swanage and take some pictures of my kittenhood home! Just saying! :0)





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Tuesday, September 06, 2016

Obscene and explosive catering

Now this is definitely a dish that I don't think you should try at home, and if you are brave enough then you should be arrested.

Do what to the duck

Do what to the duck? You couldn't make it up could you?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Monday, September 05, 2016

Something I used to like when I was young!

Fancy a  Lyon

If you fancy a blond... apparently the place to be is Lyon, France. I'm sure the nice lady in the picture has two eyes, it's just a trick of the coiffeur!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Thursday, September 01, 2016

This is not supposed to happen is it?

Living next to a lake is wonderful.

DSC01170

However it does come with some little challenges, the biggest is probably caused by one of the smallest creatures and they are Mosquitoes, though thank goodness and as far as I know, they are not Zika carriers.

Dealing with the Mosquitoes means having an armoury of countermeasures that sadly don't work. We have an Italian sonic deterrent outside that... wait for it, deters female Mosquitoes with a high pitched noise, not unlike the whistling Tinnitus in my right ear, so I am the only one who likes the thing, and even though I might like sadly it I don't think it works.

Then we have the appliances that gas Mosquitoes like this one below.

Plug In Mosquito killer

Well I say 'gas,' the little blue pellet gets hot and vapour comes off so that is gassing isn't it?

Unfortunately this is what is happening all too often, the Mosquitoes visit the appliance as seen below.

This is not supposed to happen is it

And then the bastards come and sting us in our sleep. The only really effective way of killing them I have discovered is to hit them with a plush Sid, you know from the animated movie Ice Age.

Plush Sid you know from the animated movie Ice Age

Now I know that bashing a Mosquito with a plush Sid from the animated movie Ice Age might sound insane and frankly as Mosquito bites tend to drive you that way, it may well be an insane act, but it works!

Why do I believe it works? Well Mosquitoes make an awful mess of your walls and or ceilings if you bash them on the bonce with a newspaper, and with insane asylum white painted walls and ceilings everywhere (oh sorry I mean modern and trendy while walls and ceiling everywhere) you don't want too many nasty marks around, however when you bash a Mosquito on the head with a plush Sid from the animated movie Ice Age they don't get squished and that means you just pick them up off the floor and dispose of them in a bin, making sure along the way that the buggers are dead of course.

Just checked to make sure I spelt "bonce" right and the ever dumb Google suggested "Beyonce." Priceless!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link: Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75