Friday, February 28, 2014

Polite, Respectful but Insulting all the same!

The French can't help it can they? Oh yes they try to be polite and respectful to people who don't speak their language but somehow they always fail.

Respect

Or is it that at last the french have given up their love of Cigarettes? No of course not, they all smoke everywhere like rude mobile little chimneys.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Thursday, February 27, 2014

A moustache defines a man!

I do believe the headline, personally I don't like moustaches, mainly because they get covered in cream, milk and Jumblaya juice but that might be because I am a Cat.

Having said all that I do think that this moustache defines this man, what a cheap trick appears to have been played here!

Merkel hitler





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Poor quality

Really

Sometimes a sign tells a terrible truth!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Oh really!

Oh really

What can you say about this sign that it doesn't say all on its own! Not much I suppose although I love this bit, "close the pothole and select program." Why do I like that, well isn't it obvious? All washing machines should be treated like cabins on a ship, or conversely all washing machines should be treated like cabins on a ship, meaning that the cabin can be inside the washing machine or the room where you use it could be the cabin!

Please whatever you do when you follow the "IT IS A PUBLIC PLACE IT USE THE EDUCATION" sign (classic translation) don't insert your head after opening the pothole, even this Cat knows that you insert clothes. It might be dangerous to insert one's head, and if my cousins Nobby's little excision into the tumble dryer was anything to go by inserting a head, or in Nobby's case all your body, into a washing machine can be an inordinately painful experience.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Monday, February 24, 2014

Oh how unfortunate!

Oh how unfortunate

Makes you wonder what they ate doesn't it? Here are my suggestions!

One pea soup? Springs to mind!

French Toast, sans Toast?

Glass Noodles made with real glass!

Ethiopian Maryland Chicken.

Anorexic Drunken Pig.

Angel Cake with real Angel.

Served with low fat Water.

Washed down with Gunpowder Tea.

I bet it was quite a feast or as I typed before that, "a feat of feasts." Now I don't know what that means but it does sound good, I must be hungry!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Friday, February 21, 2014

When is a door not a door?

Oh dear another blog that starts with a question, but then that is just like life isn't it, full of questions.

Mind you unlike life here is the question again (for the hard of understanding amongst us) and happily the answer, which is very unlike life!

When is a door not a door? When I say so!

When is a door not a door when I say so





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Thursday, February 20, 2014

What do they say about giving idiots swords?

The answer is 'DON'T'

Don't under any circumstances give an idiot a sword or indeed any other weapon, but look what those bunch of monsters in Saudi Arabia have done! They have armed themselves and an idiot from England with the damn things.

Idiot with a sword

I have a feeling that this is the big ritual performed by the Saudi royal family before they chop off the head of a princess or two for wearing lippy, or secretly hiding a picture of Tom Cruise in their underwear drawer, though I am not sure and they are conflicting reports as to what the ugly bunch of sword wavers are actually doing.

If you read the international (non-British) press they heavily criticise the idiot from the UK who likes to dress up in fancy dress as commander in chiefs of this and that in the navy, army and air force and wear an imitation gold sword at his side and probably jumped at the chance of wearing a real gold sword at his side and having the opportunity to wave it about with all the other clowns.

However if you read the British press they will say that "prince charles joined members of the Saudi royal family for the Ardah - or sword dance - in the capital Riyadh." Then they will go on to describe the outfit, called a 'thobe' if anyone cares? And then drone on about the number of sequins and jewels hand sown into the fools ankle length garment, yes that right a 'thobe' to you and I! I would say that the word 'thobe' could be used as a perfect description of what that moron from England looks like wearing traditional Arab dress... a right royal thobe in fact.

Idiot with a sword3

Just look at this pompous 'prince' oops I think I spelt 'prick' wrong there sorry!
Idiot with a sword 2

No wonder the Aussies and Kiwis want to ditch the British royals as their heads of states, because it won't be long before this right royal thobe is their head of state too and has the opportunity to flounce around the world looking like the fool in the pictures above on their behalf.

I honestly didn't think that the Aussies or Kiwis had such taste, all I can say is good luck to their campaign and fingers crossed that one day an enlightened British people, hopefully by that time minus Scotland (they deserve their independence they have suffered for long enough) do the same.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Pardon! Could you repeat that please?

Though I don't necessarily know much about it or am expert at using it I do love the English language and it's amazing utility.

In the sign below the poor old English language is being hammered, annealed, stretched and generally buggered around with and it still makes sense... almost!

Yes it does hic Tajikistan bazaar

Oh dear I am sorry it doesn't, it's been beaten by an advert in a Tajik bazaar! Mind you it isn't even the language that has been knocked over in this ad, it's reality itself. Below is a picture of the closest landscape in Tajikistan to the one shown in the ad of a long white sandy beach edged with palm trees (where most 'other' people around the world do their ironing obviously according to a the Tajik ad agency who created the ad).

Tajikistan Landscape


The landscape is achingly pretty, even the areas affected by the 1992 civil war are beautiful.

There had to be a civil war didn't there?

Then there is the picture of the bikini clad lady doing the ironing, now I know that not all of the lovely ladies of the west do their ironing in bikini's, unlike the Takij ad executives, but as far as I am aware Tajik women haven't adopted this fashion, they prefer this sort of outfit.

Women in Tajikistan mohair production

Sorry I couldn't find a picture of a Tajik woman ironing or indeed in a bikini but the picture above is of women in Tajikistan producing Mohair. Sadly you can't see the 'Mo!'

By the way, Mohair comes from Goats and in my experience Goats the world over are very smelly, imagine what your hands smell like after a day of 'producing' Mohair.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Best to read everything twice

Had to read that twice

See what I mean? What seemed like a nice looking meal is just not for me!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Monday, February 17, 2014

We've all heard of Demon Shrimp but this is ridiculous!

If you are a regular reader of my blog you will have heard of Demon Shrimp when I had an attack of 'eco' the other day, and thanks for all of the people who responded but I think that this is going just a bit too far!

I say Johnnie

Don't you?

I am not entire sure which city you can get Moustachioed Squid or indeed Demon Moustachioed Squid but we don't want any of that Johnnie foreigner stuff here do we?

As for Banana Squid... someone please explain what one is? When I looked for them on the internet, well I sifted through the adverts on Google because that is what counts for a search these days and I came up with a few pictures of dishes none of which had recipes or actually any sight of Bananas in them! Which is sad isn't it dear cuddly readers?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Melon bread

Yesterday I was out walking to get fit and slim and everything wonderful that is required these days by a very judgy society and I happened upon a wonderful find on about the 15th kilometre!

I was minding my own business puffing my way passed the city wall here in Prague and I happened upon a Japanese bakery, it wasn't really something new or unusual because I knew it existed and even knew where it was, the surprise 'find' was that it was open!

Many a time before yesterday I have banged on their locked door and presumed that the poor Japanese Bakers were stone deaf, even trying to think of a little gag that went with stone deaf, like oh I don't know, are deaf bakers stone ground deaf? But I gave up because it just wasn't funny.

What was funny and a little marvellous was that they were open. So I went in counting my chickens and thanking the heavens, because clouds are as generous as chickens. The building itself was rather small and I got a bigger surprise once I was inside because it was the opposite of Dr Who's Tardis, the inside, well the bit the public was allowed into, was minuscule and now you know I am talking small.

In addition there didn't seem to be much in the way of Japanese baked goods, I saw the usual Czech loafy and cakey stuff but little that was typically Japanese - as if I know what Japanese baked good look like!

The above was true until I spotted some green buns, these ones in fact.

Image 1

I promise you they are 'green' but a subtle green and the reason why these buns are green is that the topping is made from Japanese Green Tea I was informed by the (oddly enough) Czech baker, a small fidgety sort of person with a delightful Japanese style bakers hat folded over the majority of his head and brow.

Just to prove that these rolls, buns, cakes, whatever they are were 'iced' and I use that word loosely, well I use most words loosely but you know what I mean, here is a picture of the Bun's bum or bottom as they probably say in the polite culture that is Japanese!

Image 2

Actually the 'icing' looks greener here as well, green tea is probably heavy? Well ok it might not be but you can supply your own reason why it's greener on the bottom, I don't really care!

I asked the rather nervous chap behind the small counter what were the buns I was pointing and and he told me they were Melon Cakes, I found out later the Japanese call them Melon Pan, but that is neither here nor there and they do that because of the shape of the buns and texture of the icing.

Now I don't know if you know this dear cuddly readers but I do like things that are different and I do rather like oriental food, apart from oddly enough raw fish, ! can take or leave that, or better still exchange it for Prawns of course.

I was very good, after buying the Melon Pan I didn't gobble it up in a hungry frenzy, I left it in the bag and took it home to share. On tasting the Melon Pan my first thought was "why did I buy just one?" My second thought was to try and steal some of the other sections of the bun I had cut it into four but was only sharing it with one other!

My last thought, before the one filled with regret was that I should get some more Melon Pan and be quick about it.

Melon Pans ladies and gentlemen dear cuddly readers one and all are divine, or better, they do taste more of Melon than green tea, but the Melon taste is very subtle, the Pan itself is rather sweet but not too sweet... just trying to stop dribbling now!

Here are some other Melon Pan's I found when I was looking for more information on them, aren't they adorable?

Now here is something I should do more often, include a recipe.

Melonpan

1 packet dry yeast

1/4 cups water

1/2 tsp. sugar

1 + 3/4 cups flour

1/2 Tbs. salt

1 Tbs. + 1 tsp. + 1/4 tsp. sugar

3 Tbs. butter

7/8 cups water


Icing

1 + 1/4 cup flour

1 pinch baking powder

2/3 cup butter

10 Tbs. sugar

1 egg

1/2 a lemon peel

2 drops lemon extract


How to Prepare

1. Add together the water, yeast and sugar. Make sure to use warm water.

2. Combine all bread ingredients into the bowl with the yeast and sugar.

3. Knead the dough. Add more flour if needed.

4. Lightly oil a bowl. Place the kneaded dough in the bowl. Cover with a towel and allow to rise for 2 hours.

5. Punch the dough. Allow it to rise for 10 minutes.

6. Pinch off walnut-sized chunks from the dough and roll it into balls. Allow the balls to rise for 15 more minutes.

7. Mix all ingredients for the cookie topping together.

8. Refrigerate the cookie dough for an hour.

9. Roll the cookie dough into small balls. Make an even number of balls. The same number of balls as you made dough balls in step 6.

10. Roll out the cookie balls enough that you'll be able to coat the dough with a cookie ball.

11. Place the rolled out cookie ball around the bread dough ball. Leave the bottom uncovered and pinch the seams together.

12. Sprinke the top of each prepared bread with a small amount of sugar.

13. Bake the bread for 12 minutes at 350 degrees.

The person who I 'borrowed' this recipe from was American so measurements that say 'c.' I took to mean cups!

Sadly this recipe won't give you a melon flavour, but that might be a blessing. Imagine trying to squeeze the juice out of a Honeydew? Not only that Green tea icing seems to be absent, but I think I enjoyed a rather exotic Melon Pan yesterday, however the normal ones are nice and I read that the Japanese are adding chocolate chips to theirs these days so it sounds like anything is possible when you make these delightful buns.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

What can you do with Ninety flatulent Cows?

I'm sure it isn't a question that you as yourself every day. But what can you do with Ninety flatulent Cows?

Well happily this clever Cat has the answer, though whether you would want to get up to what these ninety cows did is a question for another day.

Cow female black white

Recently a farmer in Rasdorf, Germany got something of a surprise when he was keeping ninety cows locked up in their cow shed and the result of their, well let's call it "collective efforts" blew the roof off the cow shed, sadly injuring one of the cows.

Apparently the combined product of the cows burps and err... bottom burps meeting a charge of static electricity caused Methane gas - and I am sure by now you know where that came from - to explode with flashes of flame and although other reports don't say, probably an enormous bad smell.

Maybe that will teach farmers not to imprison cows in a cow shed!

Of course everyone knows that the place for cows is outside in the wind and preferably downwind if you get my meaning. Not everyone might know that cows are a lot like humans they are helping to warm the planet with their greenhouse gas emissions. Cows um let's call it "emit" up to 500 litres of the greenhouse gas methane everyday of their adult lives, sadly you won't find any farmer anywhere taxed into extinction by governments as they do with home owners and transport users who pay colossal amounts for their energy to keep them warm and on the move. Oh no farmers are special, they get government subsidies to help warm the planet.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

'Weak' Demon Shrimp

The Independent

My heartfelt thanks to the British newspaper (owned by an ex-KGB chief) 'The Independent' for this interesting article.

Weak Demon Shrimp

Maybe these little Demon Shrimp are to small to 'wreak' havoc and have to be content with something a bit more subtle!

Anyway as the article says they are dangerous and that is because they are "foreign," the little devils, err sorry Demons come all the way from the Black and Caspian Seas and are currently costing the British economy billions of pounds according to the article.

It goes on to say that "safeguarding the country against the problem is contributing to the cost of Invasive Non-Native Species (INNS) to the British economy, which is estimated at a total of approximately £1.7 billion a year," and that is because they 'may' have a parasite called the 'demon parasite' of course and if they do then they will wreak havoc on the indigenous Shrimp and other weak water dwellers.

Sadly the article apart from have some challenges in the spelling department is just another one of the scare stories that newspapers think sell newspapers, it is an 'un-story' based on conjecture, hearsay, and probability and weak on facts.

I expect that sort of reporting was good enough for the KGB but it shouldn't sell newspapers.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Monday, February 10, 2014

A royal family of hypocrites

This week the royal family hit a new low when the possible future king, if the monarchy last that long, was off playing at what they call "the sport of king's" or in other words he was blasting away with both barrels at any animal that got in his way, on a wealthy pal's estate in Spain, although it is reported that he was only looking for wild boar maim or kill.

Hunting wild boar Spain

All of this was happening a day before the royal hypocrite will be participating in a UK Government hosted conference on the illegal wildlife trade along side the other well know small animal murderer, his father charles. The conference will also signal the launch of a campaign jointly run by these two hunters called laughingly "Let's Unite for Wildlife!" which aims to highlight the devastating impact of poaching animals such as rhinos, and elephants and calls for international action.

I wonder if anyone has sat these two idiots down and explained that the best way to "Unite for Wildlife" is to put their guns away and stop shooting at anything and everything that twitches?

But then I suppose if they can make their campaign "Let's Unite for Wildlife!" a success it will clear all of the riff raft out of the shooting game and leave it just for the super rich all of which would be far more to the taste of these two cold blooded animal killers.

Prince William Hunting

The royal family regularly visit the sprawling 37,000-acre Finca La Garganta estate to kill things, this time william was accompanied by his ginger haired brother. Because although kate likes to kill things as much as any cold blooded royal this time she couldn't because happily the royal couple have worked out that the sound of guns blasting here, there and everywhere tends to annoy the nannies because it makes the baby cry and her advisers have warned that public opinion, even the royal loving Brits, would take a dim view of her accompanying the royals for a shooting spree and leaving the baby at home with the nannies so she sloped off to the Caribbean instead to sun herself in a $20,000 a week Caribbean bungalow while the prince was busy shooting wild boar in Spain, all of course paid for by the hard pressed UK tax payer.

It s alright being a royal

Why shiver with the rest of the UK and have to endure the reports of UK citizens losing their jobs and then their homes and the 'tedious' reports of so many ordinary working people who are still in work but have to visit food banks to feed their children when you can sun yourself and relax by a pool? Why kate indeed?

Kate middleton

It's alright being a royal isn't it kate?

Obviously I have to declare my interest when writing a blog such as this one so that you, dear cuddly reader don't think I am bias. I honestly believe that the George Washington and his merry men, the Bolsheviks and Oliver Cromwell had the right idea and that is why although I am English I live in a republic!

Oliver Cromwell





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock's brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called 'The Trams of Prague'

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague - Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams





Don't forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator's heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes - what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the 'i's'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it's called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.



Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75