Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Should I mention the dreaded word?

Christmas is coming and I know that it should never be mentioned before my birthday which is not for a month actually (hint hint) but I am always a sucker for a bargain aren't you and look what I have found!

Two please

Wow! Now that's great value in any currency don't you agree. By the way if you do agree I shall have 'them' send a person around in a white coat immediately for you.

Mind you now that we are on the subject of Christmas there probably isn't a better gift for any poor soul who hasn't yet got a copy of my wonderful books and if you use the link below you can be whizzed off to Amazon to get your very own copy or buy dozens and solve your Christmas present quandary in a trice.

And that also means people in Japan and India now by the way, which is handy because although most Japanese people don't speak or read English they apparently are drawn to the cover of my book and have started buying it in the thousands so that they can rip the front cover off and frame it, how nice!

The Indians sadly still seem to regard any paper as toilet paper and so I shan't tell you what my spies observed in a New Deli bookshop it's just too harrowing for such a good looking Cat and talented author to contemplate.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Hurricane Sandy

I just would like to say that I am thinking of everyone caught up in Hurricane Sandy and hope that they have shelter and are safe and warm.

Cats in a Hurricane

Nature is such a powerful thing and we are all a bit daft when we think that we are stronger than it, or can in some way either predict what it will do or control it.

Stay dry and safe this week.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Monday, October 29, 2012

Простоквашино or Cat Cream

I thought that all of my lovely cuddly readers would like to see the pot of cream below that I found on my travels recently. Простоквашино or Cat cream as I think it is called comes in all sorts of degrees of fat from a slimming 15% up to a blood vessel breaking 50%. Wow, now that is something to coat your whiskers with isn't it?

Cat Cream





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Thursday, October 25, 2012

Delicious and nutritious !

After smoked Camel and their balls how about something a little more tradition from Spain via an Italian restaurant in Argentina!

Yummy pig parts for dinner

Sorry about the dark picture but I believe that the dimmed lighting is, well I am guessing really, deliberate for two reasons!

The first is that you probably wouldn't like to actually see, in too much detail, just which tasty salted parts of a Pig you are eating, and the second is that you definitely wouldn't want anyone to see you eating them would you?

You know I am never surprised by humans and what they are capable of eating.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

More Camel oddities

You will find a Camel Smoking facility in all airports in Russia which is quite amazing really because I didn't know until I visited Russia that the Russians were so keen on Camel meat and would never have expected Smoked Camel to be in such high demand!

CamelSmoking

Personally I don't really care for smoked anything, because as far as I know they don't smoke Prawns, although a bit of Smoked Turkey, Haddock or Salmon can be a bit of a treat now and again if I am in the mood.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Something to laugh at

After yesterday's very serious blog I thought I would employ a lighter note today.

The Dutch just love them

Apparently these 'interestingly named' sweeties are all the rage in Holland at the moment, if it is ok with all of you I think I'll pass on them thanks.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Monday, October 22, 2012

Novoskibrisk, Siberian Tigers and very poor people

As a lot of my dear cuddly readers know I went to Siberia recently looking for some of the biggest Cats on the planet.

And to cut a long story short. I failed to find more than a paw print of the amazing Siberian Tiger despite spending an enormous amount of time and my own (if you ever did) cash on guides, helicopters and the like.

In my defence the range of the Siberian Tiger is vast all the way from Korean demarcation line (possibly) to to the very coldest bits of Russia and if you look at a map you'll see that is a vast tract of land.

Mind you even though the area that Siberian Tigers 'could' be found in is enormous and the sad fact is that they maybe extinct.

Not so long ago there were only a few hundred of them left but I was lucky I did know (more or less) where to look for them and you will understand that is why I am not posting any photographs of the place we were looking in because as you will know if you read my twitter feed the Chinese want all sorts of 'bits' of the poor old Siberian Tiger to make them more vigorous or grow or something like that, silly little sods.

Siberian Tiger

However I will be saving up the proceeds from the sales of my books again and plan to go to Siberia next year around this time, hoping that we get a dry spell like we did this year before the temperature drops as far as Mr Obama's jaw will if they tell him Mr Romney was elected Pres., to have another look, so do buy loads of my books so that I can afford to spend longer there, in what again will be a rather uncomfortable Mosquito back of beyond.

But honestly I don't care about the lack of baths, the Mosquito bites or the other many hardships I want to discover if my biggest relation and the largest Cat to grace the planet has been completely killed off by poachers working for Chinese billionaires, don't you?

All of which means that I am a bit short of photographs for this blog, but as I am a resourceful Cat I am not short of ideas and I thought that my dear cuddly readers would like to get a glimpse of life inside Russia's third largest city.

I promise that I didn't go to what are the poorest parts of Novosibirsk and I didn't deliberately pick out the sort of images that charities use to drum up cash. I just went around the area close to the airport and took a peek into Putin's Russia and frankly the 'Put' should be ashamed of himself.

These cheerful (in the main) people have a very hard life, they swelter uncomfortably in the summer and more than freeze in the winter, they pay a small fortune to live in Communist built flats that are tumbling around their ears and hardly keep the cold out and yet they survive. Which is a surprise to me because they can't afford healthcare and consequently unlike any other country on the European continent their life expectancy under Putin and his cronies has fallen dramatically while of course the billionaires get richer and buy another yacht!

I met a family, just ordinary people really and had a long chat with them, the Dad has been out of work for two years, the Mum is in remission from cancer and now supports the family by working 12 hour shifts six days a week, the son had a blood transfusion a decade or so ago before they checked for hepatitis C when giving blood transfusions so… well you can guess and their granddaughter has Kidney failure and has a Molluscum contagiosum on her head.

Molluscum contagiosum is a viral infection of the skin which affects children and adults, sometimes they call it water warts and is a disease that is rapidly spreading across Russia. No one seems to know why or care though, my bet is pollution.

As these people told me of their troubles, trials and health problems they didn't expect me to do anything, drop some cash in a box or whatever they were just being matter of fact, like ordinary people everywhere!

Now isn't that something we should think more deeply about? Take any country in the world and the rich are getting richer and the poor, and these days middle class, are getting the rough end of the deal, what on earth are you humans up to? Beats a clever Cat I can tell you.

Still enough of wondering! Here are some pictures of normal life in Novosibirsk and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!

Folks waiting for a bus, sadly I couldn't 'get' the bundle of toilet rolls being carried by the old couple at the back clearly, which is a shame because you dear cuddly readers with soft sentiments and toilet paper would have been amazed at what 'they' use! I was!

IMG 0529

The most modern bus I saw in the whole place.

IMG 0539

A tram. The youngest trams are 50 years old and they bounce! That is no exaggeration, I promise, they bounce on their tracks which don't seem nailed down (or whatever you do with tram tracks) very securely.

IMG 0544

The Mall! Need a hunk of cow, chicken or pork or even a pig's head? Yes! Well this is the place to shop.

IMG 0633

Fresh food Novosibirsk Grouse (I think) Chicken or Rabbit for you madam?

IMG 0653


These Rabbits belong in a pet shop don't they? Well not in Novosibirsk they don't!

IMG 0654

Fresh vegetables covered with goodness knows what pollutants and contaminations from one of the dirtiest countries on the planet which seems to have no environmental laws at all.IMG 0662

Off the back of a lorry! An old lady buying meat.

IMG 0663

One of the newest buildings in Novosibirsk, a church, now I am not against churches in anyway whatsoever! BUT do these people need a CHURCH? I think a free medical centre would have been a better way to spend the money don't you? Or am I the only Cat in the world who thinks like that?

IMG 0669

The foreground isn't a car park it's a scrapyard or bus depot! I couldn't really tell, but even the poshest and most pointless new building in Novosibirsk is surrounded by ruin, mind you I like the glittery bits, shame the white paint on all of the big arches is peeling off before they lay the footpaths up to the front doors isn't it!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Thursday, October 11, 2012

Off tomorrow

Hi to all my lovely cuddly readers as you know I am going to Siberia to see if I can find some of my enormous relations, the Siberian Tiger being the largest feline on the planet, but sadly not for much longer if the idiot Russians have their way.

All of which means that from today my blogs will be few and far between and so here are some instructions for you all.

The first - obviously is if you come across a poor soul who hasn't read my books you sent them to Amazon.com immediately to order both.

And the second instruction is be good! I won't be here to take care of you and keep an eye on you but as you can see from the picture below I am leaving someone in charge although I think the picture I decided to use might just have a mixed message.Naughty Jesus!

Mixed messages New Mexico





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Poor little things!

What can I say about this picture?

Poor little things

Oh I know! Like everything when nipples get tired or sick they need a place to get better - how was that? Perfectly restrained and with great taste I thought! What about you?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Tuesday, October 09, 2012

The sun is shining and the sky is blue

It would seem that my last few days here in Prague are being rewarded by lots of sunshine, though I have to say it's a bit nippy, but unfortunately not as nippy as it is going to be in Siberia, although at the moment it's raining and not snowing where we are landing.

While I am there I want to do a lot of Cat things and although sampling local Prawns from the River Ob which was turned into a sea, (yes you read that right, the Soviets flooded the area for a Hydroelectric Dam project that ultimately went a bit pear shaped and in the process of building it wiped out millions of acres of pristine wild places) is at the top of my list of things to do, as it should be for any seasoned traveller.

But like any seasoned traveller I want to also want to meet some of the locals both wild and domesticated.

I am sure to meet a Siberian Cat or two, which will be nice, like most Cats they are 'old' Cats, some of the originals of the Cat clan as it were, and have been around on , mainly in Siberia which is how they got their name, for 1000 years.

Siberian Cat

Siberian Cats are now prized additions to many an American household since they started to move to the states after the iron curtain came down.

Now I don't know if I will be lucky enough to see any of these fine fellows (below), or if I do bump into them whether I wouldn't be considered to be more of an entree than lunch, but if I could just observe them from a safe distance through binoculars that would be marvellous.

2 Siberian Tigers

Imagine just being in the same (safe) place as the Siberian or Amur Tiger what a treat. Sadly because the Russians are so bad at looking after their wildlife, forests and everything else that isn't oily or gassy the Siberian Tiger is close to extinction. There are just a few hundred of them left on the planet, what a sad state of affairs for the biggest Cat in the world at the moment, if that is, there are any of them left!

Sadly the law that protected Tigers from the Russians, the poachers, the illegal deforestation and bribery of corrupt park rangers is virtually non-existent and like most species who are prized by sick people for their fur, teeth, bones and tusks, such as the immensely rich and misguided Chinese, the wonderful Siberian Tiger is probably going to follow its kin in Korea who it seems are extinct already.

Lastly here is one little point about someone less important than Siberian Tigers, in the part of Siberian I'm off to the internet connection ranges from poor to non-existent and so if you don't hear from me for a couple of weeks from this Friday don't worry, if you don't hear from me for longer than that then do please get concerned, panic, arrange search and rescue parties and start to worry a lot!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Monday, October 08, 2012

Facebook, odd, funny but not really friendly!

The Cat Portrait2



Hi all, you probably know something is wrong or has annoyed me when I say hello before I write my blog and I am spitting teeth today.

As you probably know by now if you are one of my original fans I loathe facebook for all sorts of reasons and have never used it to promote my books, blog or any other wonderful cat products, they have sold themselves by recommendation and word of mouth happily.

I also hate facebook because of their lazy use of the letter 'f' and the fact that Apple and other of the other spell checkers around the world try to change their name because they thought it would be trendy to use a lower case 'f.'

Mind you I also think that it is a bit odd that even facebook's own spellchecker will change your 'proper' use of their name - but then that is probably more to do with my computer when I think about it - BUT IT IS STILL ANNOYING!!!!

Today I have been trying to talk to facebook because they accused me, yes the Cat of being a spammer, what sort of a bunch a bunch of things you sit on and the holes between are they?

They obviously don't read the messages people like me send out to other 'friends' on their system and I use the word 'friends' lightly here of course, no they just seem to assume that if you do what I imagine 90% of all of the other facebook users do and that is not write anything and just do a lot of clicking and playing of inane games you are obviously spamming. I do wish they could read, but even more so I do wish that there was some way of contacting the idiots and telling them just how wrong they are.

As I wrote on my page facebook "seems to have a lot in common with North Korea, lots of accusations, a couple of spineless informers, no trial and loads of punishment for a crime I didn't commit."

No wonder the value of facebook is tumbling!

As you may or may not know I was a member, friend or whatever they call it before on facebook back in the old days when I was 'allowed' to use my identity, The Cat but now all that has changed or so it seems and poor old John Woodcock my translator has to have the label as 'spamming bastard' well it doesn't suit him because it isn't true all because I can't have a facebook page now.

Why? I hear all of my very cuddly readers ask was I bothering with such an inferior website such as facebook when I have such a superior blog and website and a new addition to my website coming soon well the simple answer to that is (as I said on facebook just a minute or two ago) that I have decided that I am not getting anywhere with the hollywood types I have been dealing with about the movie of my masterpiece of feline literature "Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat's Diary" and have decided to make it myself, my Mum used to say "if you want anything doing then do it yourself!" And that seems like good advice.

So what I have done so far is to persuade the accused spamming bastard above to drop a movie project about, of all things, Dogs and do something useful, namely a movie about me, well it might be a TV series we will see.

At the moment I am putting everything together, I have a colleague in South Carolina where we will make a base for the movie and I plan to bring together a lot of very of very talented people, but having said that I may just have to run with the team I can assemble but and it is a big one, I am going to put my project up on a crowd funding site called Kickstarter.

By the time I am ready it will probably be there by the middle of November especially as I will be away from Cat HQ from next Friday for 10 days, I am going to Siberia of all places to make a film!

So do look out for me spreading the word about my little Kickstarter project, I am trying to think of some really great rewards for all of your hard earned folding stuff and just think this time soon you could be watching me on a silvery screen near you - how cool would that be?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Friday, October 05, 2012

Back to School

Do you think that bad teachers leads to underage drinking and alcoholism in later life?

Back to school before you break open the drinks cabinet

Or do you think that bad teachers should be committed or as the genius who commissioned this sign prefers "committed."

Commited  they should be





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Thursday, October 04, 2012

We should stop making fun of foreigners!

Don't you think it's terrible of us English speakers to make fun of foreigners who try to speak English?

I know that when I was learning English people made fun of me when I tried to pronounce English words but frankly 'Cat' pronunciation is so very different to human speech that I am surprised I can make myself understood at all and when it comes to writing… well you have to remember that Cat's don't have a written language which means that the mere fact I can speak and write English is a work of considerable genius. Or is that the work of a considerable genius? You decided I am too modest to say.

When I hear people making fun of others wrestling with English I tend to feel very sorry for the poor devils who are being laughed at, except when it's the French but that goes without saying doesn't it?

I also feel terrible when I see articles or indeed blogs making fun of foreign words that are innocent in the language they were being used in but tend to make us English speakers fall over with laugher.

Below is a good example of what I am talking about a chemist shop in Brazil!

A Chemist with a problem Brazil

Human language is funny isn't it!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Does this look 'reasonably' familiar?

Facebook

Hello to all my dear cuddly readers, yes you are right the picture does look familiar! Not only are you well acquainted with the marvellous pictures of yours truly but you might know the struggling website I am gracing them with.

Yes that's right I have decided to help poor little Marky Zuckerberg and add my support to his, oh what do they call those awful things, oh yes "social network."

I prefer to think of them as captive advertising sites where you have no choice but to 'like' Nike, personally I can't think of anything much worse than doing that, well oh 'liking' Mitt Romney just might be pushing the boundaries of taste!

facebook no I said facebook - sorry Apple currently likes facebook and so although the silly sods there called their site, err sorry social network facebook Apple keeps autocorrecting the word, unlike I have to add - google, android, samsung (even though they gave Apple shed loads of cash recently, or indeed microsoft, Apple's spell checker just thinks that microsoft is just a misspelt word and underlines it in red, mind you I think I detect a thaw in the relationship there, type in Microsoft with an uppercase 'M' and Apple with leave you to your own devices and say nothing.

All of which means I have moved away from the point, ho hum, which is! I am 'on' facebook and apart from gathering nice cuddly friends it is something of a let down. I didn't expect dancing girls and fireworks when I joined of course, but after filling in all of the information like religion - "catolick" though I can't understand why I can't use a capital C when typing the name of my religion on facebook I am sure that Zuckerberg Inc allow Jews and Muslims to capitalise the names of their religions.

Maybe us catolicks just aren't radical enough and I should 'suggest,' no that isn't a radical enough word, maybe I should 'demand' that us catolicks get the same rights as all of the other religions of the world, or we'll, mmmh need a big threat quick, oh yes or we'll eat all the Prawns in the world.

And don't even get me started on my political views or my language skills, why can't I enter 'Cat' I speak it? Since when has Democat not been a political party? I am a fully paid up member so why can't I proudly announce to the world that I am one, why does Facebook (oh autocorrector you beat me) not let me enter my deeply held political beliefs?

Still I did manage to put up some nice pictures of my pals, Burt the Black & White Cat is there, Randolph the Mountaineering Cat is there (well his last known picture is) and loads of other wonderful friends all I need now is your pictures on my page so that we can start doing what you do on a social network and that is to sell you things by the bucketful!





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Tuesday, October 02, 2012

I wonder what they were thinking?

Am I the only Cat (but please read 'person' here) to think that there is something wrong with this shopping centre 'Baby Station?' Surely that microwave is only big enough for one baby at a time and there is loads of seating!

Warning only one baby at a time please

I love the instructions on how to use a microwave glued to the door don't you? Just another sign of dumb Britain.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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