Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Urban Fox as Muddy Escape

Franky the Fox an adorable young fox cub had what couldn't exactly be termed a Bond like escape from a muddy spot of bother recently when he was pulled from a deep muddy hole on building site caked in mud.

Fox1

Four-month-old Franky the Fox who was rescued from an site close to London's Canary Wharf, wasn't apparently looking for a secret way into the London Olympics without paying he had just lost his way and fell into the deep hole and had little or no chance of escaping.

Happily a kindly builder spotted Franky the Fox and his slimy predicament and phoned the South Essex Wildlife Hospital who arrived promptly on the scene to take care of Franky the Fox.

The only harm that was done was that Franky the Fox was covered in a thick layer of dried sludge from head to foot which as you can see washed off - eventually.
Fox2

After a lot of rest and even more food Franky the Fox will be released into the wild with the warning presumably, "Don't go near any deep muddy holes!" Let's hope that Franky the Fox remembers this important warning in the future.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Monday, July 30, 2012

Home cooking Tokyo style

We hope you like home cocking Tokyo

TEE HEE

It gets a bit embarrassing when the "About Me" section is long than my blog but I thought this picture spoke for it's self, don't you?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Mitt Romney has done something that no one else could do!

According to articles in today's English press, Mitt Romney has questioned whether Britain is ready for Olympic Games.

Yes believe it or not the Republican party presidential nominee actually questioned our/Britain's ability to host London 2012 Olympics and asked whether the country is genuinely willing to "celebrate" the Games.

Mitt

So with one simple thoughtless comment Uncle Mitt has done what the London Olympics Organising Committee couldn't do, the Prime Minister of the UK - sorry I forget his name, tall inconsequential faffy type of chap… you know, what's his name? And indeed the rest of the people involved in the London Olympics, or should that be according to Lord Coe after so many years of calling the London Olympic Games the "London Olympic Games" - the "UK Olympic Games," I'd call Mitt 'a bit of a Prawn" but I like Prawns so I won't, i'll do better than that and let my cuddly readers on both sides of the Atlantic decide what to call him!

Of course no one in the UK, most of whom are jealous of London and Londoners if they live outside of London didn't like the Olympics!

We, that is, the people, and Cats of course of the UK, don't actually like most things including ourselves, but when some jumped up asset stripper and presidential no-hoper comes to our country and suggests that we are a bunch of idiots who couldn't organise a polygamist wedding in a Tabernacle or whatever it was he said it strikes home I can tell you.

Only the British allow themselves to be criticised by the err… British and no one else, I bet Mitt and his various wives, if he is a true follower of the faith, can expect to be one of the 3,500 people in the new modern London Aquadrome who won't be able to see the top board in the diving competition because of the curved roof which obscures the view of the highest diving board.

What a shame that the UK Border Agency immigration staff were working at Heathrow Airport when they let him instead of being on strike as they promised they would be, or is that why he came early?

Still I pity poor Mitt I wouldn't like to be in his brogues, during this trip and then when he so many more foreign policy mistakes on the next legs of what is probably his first trip outside of the US, and then gets roundly beaten by the presidential incumbent who let's face it has disappointed too many people all too often.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Plastic Carrier Bags, Value for money and the Environment

Now that we all have to pay for our plastic carriers bags, to help save the environment, well that is the excuse that is made by retailers and the one time great providers of free eco-friendly carrier bags, is it time that we got something in return for our hard earned cash that is value for money?

Yes I think so!

Well that answer to my question was a little obvious because I am writing this blog from that point of view! But I hope you see what I mean.

Still my point is that Tesco and all of the other supermarket bandits shouldn't be allowed to sell carrier bags that don't live up to what name suggests and sadly fall well below the expectations of even a Cat, when the contents that have been crammed into the aforementioned carrier bag disappear out of the bottom and land below even the eye level of this vertically challenged Pussy!

There is, if I am not mistaken a point of law that says (in civilised western countries at least) that something which is bought from a retailer or any old third party should be of merchantable quality, isn't there?

So having said that, would you my dear cuddly readers suggest that the carrier bag below is of that particular quality? Of course you wouldn't, would you?

Tescos Carrier Bag

It not only failed in its mission to transport a sizeable shipment of mouth watering Prawns. It also spread those contents plus some rather personal items, which I prefer not to name, across the shopping mall floor, a shattering experience for the bottle involved and a highly embarrassing one for this poor humiliated and as yet uncompensated Cat.

Something has to be done to ensure that when we buy a carrier bag we get something that will do what the name suggests doesn't it?

I suggest that someone start a campaign with of course my full moral support and backing, so long as I don't actually have to do any hard work for that campaign because I am currently in mourning for a bag of Prawns and couldn't bring myself to chain my person to the doors of a branch of Tesco - hint hint!

You know I have a feeling that there is more to this carrier bag nonsense than merely a clever supermarket getting extra cash for something they used to give away for free don't you?

So convinced was I that there was something more to this that I even searched in the wonderful organ of misinformation and confusion 'Google' after typing "what happens to the money collected from selling plastic carrier bag that were once given away" I got these answers.

1. - "Americans throw away 100 billion plastic bags every year" Yeah right always blame the poor Americans, but what has that got to do with my question? Nothing of course!

2. "Firms faces penalties of up to £5000 if they give away single use carrier bags." That seems a bit strong doesn't it - still it was the Welsh Government website so…

3. Why do charity shops charge 5p for a used carrier bag when they're selling clothes for 5 pence and selling books for 50 pence each?” Why indeed?

So after all that research - well I couldn't stand reading more than a page of the nonsense that a Google search throws up so I gave up without any answers, but I did get loads of adverts served up to me selling things I didn't need, have you noticed that Google always vomits nonsense doesn't it? You would think that at least one advert would have mentioned "shopping bag" but it didn't!

So sadly I can't tell you where the 5p collected goes, although I suspect it goes towards the profits of the retailer involved and don't blame them the scheme has to be inforced because it is the law.

I did laugh at this quote from one government website.

"What is a single-use carrier bag?

A single-use carrier bag is a bag that is not designed for substantial reuse and are often given out with the aim of transporting your goods home for just one trip. These are most often plastic bags but can also include paper bags too."

Now I don't know about you but I use paper and plastic carrier bags more than once to carry my Prawns home from the shop in and after that I use them as bing bags for my kitchen bin, although I have a suspicion that I should buy bin bags and use them for shopping first because they are so much cheaper at 2p according to the Tescos website page here Tescos website - Bin Liners and pictured below.

Tescos Bin Liners

It's so true these days that high earning tax avoiders, The Tax Man, Politicians, Bankers, Multinationals and of course Supermarkets are all looking to take advantage of us.

As Leonard puts it in the Big Bang Theory when he trying to tell Dr. Sheldon Cooper that he has been compromised.

"Alright, well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis?"

Dr. Sheldon Cooper: "Screwed?"

Leonard: "There you go."





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

What a silly Kitty

It seems that the Leopards in Sangatram, North East India are every bit as daft as the people, especially the Sukna Wildlife Squad, now that statement might sound rather harsh when you first read it but let this Cat explain why it seems so.

First take one member of the Sangatram wildlife, a Leopard for instance and place him close, but not too close, to what passes for a reservoir in that part of the world and a filthy algae infested pond to the civilised world. Then just for good measure surround what is obviously jokingly called a 'reservoir' with a 14 foot wall.

Then wait patiently for the two to get introduced or in the case of the Leopard from Sangatram to fall into the filthy mess which holds the local town's drinking water.

What a Silly Kitty 1

Once not too comfortably installed in the dreadful health hazard that passes for water storage in North East India, wait one hour until the calvary arrives, in the form of a team of foresters known as the Sukna Wildlife Squad.

Then simply toss the Leopard a 'rope,' yes a rope - what's wrong with that? So that the Leopard can use it to climb out. Doh! No Homer Simpson was not in charge of the lads from the Sukna Wildlife Squad on that day but he may well have been mighten he?

Unfortunately the crash helmeted member of the Sukna Wildlife Squad, who should wish to remain anonymous if he has any sense, failed with the rope but the lads from the Sukna Wildlife Squad are not beaten easily. I am pretty sure that they put their crash helmeted heads together and then of course completely misheard each other's next brilliant suggestions on how to get the now very soggy Leopard out of the cesspit that the locals drink from.

What a silly Kitty 2

The brilliant answer was of course a rickety one as you can see from the picture but as Shakespeare could have said.

"All's well that ends rickety!"

What a Silly Kitty 3





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Some animals like water - that's confusing

I came across this picture of a seal Pup and a Human off the coast of Northumberland and thought that my dear cuddly readers would like it. Personally as the title says I find it difficult to 'like' any water that is bigger than a few mouthfuls and can't understand why other animals like it so much.

But I have to say that these two seem to be enjoying gallons of the wet stuff.

Cheeky Seal Pup

The more I looked at the this picture the more it seemed to me that Seals are like Dogs with fins, mind you this Seal, if he is representative of the breed, seems to suggest that his kind are a lot more intelligent that your average Bow-Wow, don't you think?

You know, I think I like Seals! I wonder, if in addition to the usual Horn honking and Beach Ball tricks they learn in Circuses, whether they can be persuaded to catch Prawns for hungry, Prawn deprived Cats?





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Monday, July 23, 2012

Stubbs the Cat - the video

Stubbs the Mayor

If you read my blog of a few days ago with the snappily short title of - "Spotlight on the longest serving Mayor in Alaska - Stubbs the Cat" you will have heard all about Stubbs the Cat who as the title says is the longest serving Mayor in Alaska and probably the world.

If you enjoyed my blog and there will be questions after if you didn't, then I thought that you might well like to see a video (here Stubbs the Cat Mayor) all about this giant of the American political system.

If you didn't read my blog then here is a very quick link Stubbs - my blog to follow which will enable you, or should that be empower you? I never know! Anyway it will let you read all about Stubbs the Cat who is a better politician than any human will ever be.

Of course as you would expect from a totally 'wired wussy' you can click on the picture below to go to my video page and watch the video now.

Stubbs the video





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Friday, July 20, 2012

July 20th a good day for a Moon landing!

Today, July 20, 1969, America achieved something amazing, astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the surface of the Moon. And below is a marvellous photograph of his footprint in the lunar dust.

Neil Amrstrong Foot Print

So much for all of the idiots who say that this monumental event was staged!

Buzz Aldrin photographed by Neil Armstrong 20 July 1969

Sadly as far as this Cat is aware, neither the people who came up with the peculiar idea that the lunar landing was a hoax or just a publicity stunt, nor the daft people who have blindly repeated this nonsense over the years have achieved anything on this day July 20th or indeed at any day in the past.

Of course before any humans ever went into space animals had been there already. There is no truth in the rumour that any of these animal pioneers from the very beginning of spaceflight there volunteers. On the contrary animals had no choice in the matter whatsoever they were simply bundled up and tied down in the cockpits of various rockets destined for the heavens.

The first animal in space was a rhesus monkey called Albert I, he was blasted off from White Sands, New Mexico on June 11, 1948, in a V-2 Blossom rocket. Of course if you look at the V-2 Blossom rocket closely, you'll note that it is actually the same as the ones used to 'bomb' London towards the end of the war.

Albert II V2 launch

Now I am not suggesting that these were exactly the same rockets that made such an impact on London or that the ones that hit London were a result of what is called 'friendly fire.' But I am suggesting that the Nazi technology which vanished from Germany at the end of the war turned up in New Mexico along with the scientists who had planned to use these V-2 rockets to completely re-arrange the landscape of London!

For those of you who like Cats, the nicest people in the world as far as I am concerned, I thought I would mention that the first Cat to be launched into space, very much against his will, was called Felix. Felix made a brief but successful flight on October 18, 1963 and Felix happily was landed successfully after a parachute descent.

Felix

Sadly the rocket which was carrying the second Cat to be launched into space by the French, just six days, later ran into difficulties that prevented recovery. No one knows what happened to the Cat sadly.

All wasn't so bad for the SpaceCats though because the French government had quite a few Cats in intensive training for possible space flight in 1963. Unfortunately ten had to sacked or as the French government put it 'decommissioned' the official reason rather embarrassing is that under the strict training regime the Cats put on too much weight to be able to fit into the spacecraft. I have to say that I admire those ten almost as much as Felix don't you?

This episode also reinforces the idea that the Cats used in the french space programme were starts from the streets of Paris and if they were I am sure they made the most of their good fortune.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Thursday, July 19, 2012

Sinonauts take their Cats into space

While I was away or possibly asleep the Chinese have been beavering away building space rockets and even a space station. It goes without saying that they have given their space craft silly names like the "Long March" and probably "Mao's Delight" but amazingly considering how badly they make products for western consumption their rockets are achieving low Earth Orbit.

Of course we shouldn't encourage the Chinese by congratulating them because they might get carried away attempt to do something spectacular and actually relevant in space and not just copy the Russian and the Americans achievements from the 60's and 70's then over reach their abilities, which we all know are desperately limited you only have to open a newly purchased box of some electronic something or other to know that!

Still you have to hand it to the Chinese they are sending their Sinonauts, as they call their Astronauts, into space quite regularly and under their own power unlike the Americans sadly, but then that has more to do with the cash they have earned from the west than any other reason I suppose.

All of which brings me on nicely to a picture I saw, and was touched by, this week. It's of three brave members of the party and army (of course) one of whom had not only to be qualified and fit enough to get fired into space but also to had to be married and had a baby (guess which one). Surely these requirements are a little odd for anyone wanting to go into space aren't they well that is what I thought.

The picture that caught my attention was of the brave trio, one of whom was married and had had a baby, saluting, I don't actually know who or possibly what they were saluting but that is not important. What I thought was important and rather touching was that the three, as you can plainly see, were allowed to take their Cats into space, safely housed in their Cat carriers for the journey.

I think that the Chinese authorities have been rather nice in allowing their Sinonauts to do that and in addition I think that it is such a wonderful co-incidence that all of the Sinonauts on this mission to nowhere own Cats, although the Cat carrier of the lady Sinonaut might be adapted to carry the baby that she had to have had to qualify for the journey mighten it!

Sinonauts and their Cats





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Polar Bear Arrest

I have no real reason to publish this picture apart from the fact that I thought it was rather bizarre and I like the bizarre!

Polar Bear Arrest

There that should be an end to this blog. But I thought maybe I could add a few observations. Since when have the British police been allowed to display their tattoos? And what is the female officer doing in the foreground? Checking her mail on a mobile phone I would say wouldn't you!

You know I can imagine that it would take a lot more than six police officers to tackle a real Polar Bear but this poor fancy dress Polar Bear seems rather defeated, poor thing and six police officers with or without rubber gloves is several too many don't you think?

Lastly why is the tubby police officer wearing rubber gloves, does she suspect that the Polar Bear has fleas?

As usual British justice and those who enforce it are all very confusing!

I bet you are wondering why the British were arresting a Polar Bear in the first place aren't you? Well the answer is that the Polar Bear was part of a protest by a well know 'green' organisation who appear all too often on high streets around Europe chugging to mention their name or their cause.

For those of you who don't know what 'chugging' means here is my definition. Chugging or "Charity Mugging" is the practice of collecting for 'charities' and other do gooding bodies that involves stopping unsuspecting shoppers in major thoroughfares to sign them up to a monthly subscription to some 'cause' or the other.

The subscriptions solicited usually go towards paying for large modern offices and all expenses paid trips abroad for some staff to 'assess' the situation whatever that situation might be! Usually it is a 'situation' that requires a stop over or two in a four star hotel for several days and then an hour or so at the sharp end whether it be a children's hospital in Syria, or a Whale gathering in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Spotlight on the longest serving Mayor in Alaska - Stubbs the Cat

Stubbs the Cat has been Mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska since he was a Kitten and has seen other political players and lightweights come and go in Alaska, he attributes his successful 15 years in office working as the longest serving Mayor in Alaska to very much a 'paws on' way of operating.

Indeed part of Stubbs success as Mayor is that he like to be close to residents and meaning that Stubbs didn't, when he was first elected Mayor, spend $50,000 on redecorating his office without the approval of city council like a one time mayor, Governor, then dramatically unsuccessful Vice Presidential Candidate*. Oh no Stubbs' office is humble by comparison, it's the local general store, Nagley's Store, where he can be found everyday constantly snacking on Alaskan Snow Crab, his only Mayoral indulgence.

Stubbs the Mayor

In between town business Stubbs receives around 30 to 40 visitors a day who travel miles just to glad paw him and answers messages from his Facebook account, where he has over a 100 more 'friends he has never met' than residents of the small township of Talkeetna (900 for those of you who are curious).

Most afternoons as the sun sinks just after midday in the Fall and all day during the Winter Stubbs takes a well earned nap, safe in the knowledge that he is not only the most successful and popular Mayors in the world but is also a shining example of what a true politicians should be!

Cat Mayor 2

A source close to Stubbs' campaign who wished not to be named because of the sensitivity of the matter was quoted as saying that Stubbs may eventually follow another famous Alaskan politician into a race for the White House, but he continued, Stubbs, who has an IQ a lot higher than that unsuccessful Alaskan hopeful, has much to learn about the world and of course needs to always bear in mind that Canada is not part of the US.

Sarah Palin

*"I'm the Mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't.'" --Sarah Palin, as quoted by former City Council Member Nick Carney, after he raised objections about the $50,000 she spent renovating the mayor's office without approval of the city council.





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Monday, July 16, 2012

Ice Age 4 and other 3D 'wonders'

Correct me if I am wrong but are more and more movie studios greasily sliding onto what they obviously see as the lucrative bandwagon that is animation, all with rather substandard productions, and worse it seems the are all choosing to join the 3D animation bandwagon which begs the question what will happen to the rather wonderful but sadly 'ordinary' 2D animation?

Yes this weekend I went to see Ice Age 4, a disappointment of a movie in 3D that even Sid the Sloth couldn't rescue with his usual humour, despite a rather novel encounter with his wonderfully negligent parents.

Ice Age 4 Poster

To my way of thinking too much time in this confused movie was devoted to 'amazing' 3D effects of landmasses sliding over each other, not that these effects weren't impressive of course, it's just when you've seen one landmass slide over another the rest gets just a little tedious.

Maybe that is the trouble with modern day 'Pixar' style animation. Producers, writers, directors and teaboys in charge of these enormously costly productions think that they are compelled to include ever more startling special effects at the cost of… oh things like storyline, comedy and even relevance!

 

You never saw much in the way of special effects in Daffy Duck, Wile E Coyote or Bugs Bunny animated productions. Just a lot of gags and a bit of madness. Oh how I miss them these days and cringe at the announcement of the latest animated feature production especially when it is in 3D - when will they get that right?

Looney Tunes

There was one good thing about seeing Ice Age 4 this weekend though, I saw a trailer for Universal Studio's first stab at making a large pile of cash from animation. It was called 'Paranorman' and if the trailer - where they include the best bits I believe - is anything to go by then we should all give this awful 3D turkey a very wide berth indeed.

 

Come on Disney, Fox, Sony to say nothing of Dreamworks please at least try to make a 3D animated movie that is entertaining and makes the audience laugh and not leave the movie theatre looking sheepish and embarrassed for having wasted so much time in the dark.

Here is just an observation about the Apple IOS 5 it recognises the made up word that is the part of the name of 'Pixar' Animation and not only auto-suggests it when you type one fingeredly on any iPhone, pad or Pod's cramped keyboard but will also auto-correct a misspelling of the word 'Pixar,' but does not do the same for the made up word that's the name of a competitor 'Dreamworks' really Apple how banal is that?

Finally, imagine my surprise, shock and horror to discover that Peaches, the daughter of Manney and Ellie the Mammoths in Ice Age, looks like a friend of mine! No I don't think I am brave enough to say who though!

Peaches





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Thursday, July 12, 2012

An Update from The Beach

Yes, yes I know it has been a while, but guess who forgot to pack my Apple laptop for my extended and well deserved holiday? Ok I'll admit it was me, until I find someone else to blame of course.

So here is my first blog, for sometime, and I know that will make a lot of people very happy. Well maybe I should modify that statement and say that I 'hope' it will make a lot of people very happy.

Is it the sun making me conceited or the heady aroma of gallons of evaporated suntan lotion wafting around in the air from the great expanses of ample human flesh slumped in sun loungers? Possibly!

So I thought that I should try to do something to compensate all of my patient, cuddly readers for my absence and their imposed lack of my wonderful and extraordinarily funny blog, but how that is the problem.

Frankly I am so used to being on the other end of giving, if you see what I mean, that I hardly know how to reward anyone mail because it involves me giving!

But wait a minute I could do what all of the multinational companies and desperately corrupt banks do when they want to appear to reward their customers, attract new ones or as most of the major UK and US banks will be doing in a few weeks - use a divide to distract poor old long suffering Joe Public and deflect some of the awful truths that are surfacing about the extent of their corruption. I will launch a competition!

If cuddly reader can guess exactly where I am staying from the photograph below I will send them an ePub copy of my amazingly brilliant book 'The Cat's Travelogue.' Now you can't say fairer than that can you?

The Beach

Because I want to publish some pictures from my holiday destination very soon I am going to have to close the competition tomorrow but that gives my dear cuddly readers plenty of time to enter doesn't it?

Just in case my dear friend Lois enters the competition here are a few pointers and clues - no Lois I am not on the Moon, what is it with the Moon by the way? I am not anywhere in the Southern Hemisphere either and currently I am not on a movie location shoot.

So good luck with there competition and if you don't want to risk supplying the wrong answer do remember that you can get a copy of any and all of my books from either my website or an Amazon website near you, yes Lois unless you live on the Moon! And if you have forgotten the web addresses for my site or you are really confused Amazon's here they are again in clickable form!

Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat's Diary at Amazon.com, The Cat's Travelogue and finally the big one - my www - wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com





About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and his latest wonderful book 'The Cat's Travelogue' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat's Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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