Thursday, July 28, 2011

Sod Today... Bugger Tomorrow!

As the sign says "Sod Today" and while you are about it I suppose you could "Bugger Tomorrow!"



I saw this sign when I was tottering around the planet while researching my wonderful unputdownable next book 'The Cat's Travelogue' I was in, where else, America of course, I love the American attitude but unfortunately the "Sod Today" ideal seems to be coming home to roost and things are getting tight for a nation that doesn't know what living above your means err, means!



Sod Today And Bugger Tomorrow

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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dealing With Armed Airline Passengers

I was in Turkey a little while ago researching my soontobereleased bestseller 'The Cat's Travelogue' when I saw this sign. I promise I was trying to mind my own business and indeed everyone else's - but in my defence that is what a Travelogue writer does isn't it? I have to say it wasn't the way the judge saw it but heigh-ho that's the way the fortune cookie crumbles sometimes isn't it.



So this is, I believe, how the Turks deal with armed airline passengers and it is a worrying revelation they let them collect the weapons before boarding the aircraft from the Silah Teslim Yeri or Weapons Delivery Location that is worrying isn't it!



Weapon Delivery Point

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Monday, July 25, 2011

Please Can Someone Explain This Sign

Being an innocent Cat does sometimes have its problems, which I have to say are sometimes almost as bad as not being able to lie something that comes naturally to most humans, I have explained in my latest book 'Getting Out Excerpts From a Cat's Diary' that Cats find it impossible to lie read my book if you didn't know that you'll love it.


Unfortunately being an innocent Cat means that one is disadvantaged just like when I was with a couple of humans the other day and they saw this sign and couldn't stop laughing.


Please can Someone Explain This Sign


Why they were laughing I have no idea, but I know that my lovely readers will end my embarrassment and tell me what this sign means and why its funny just let me know in a comment or write to me at thecat@thecatsdiary.com.




About the Author



The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Thursday, July 21, 2011

Proof - That Austrians Love To Share

I have a feeling that the poor old Austrians and for that matter the Germans too have had a bit of a bad press these days being accused of being selfish and running the EU like it's some sort of private playground but I am happy to tell you, my wonderfully cuddly readers, that I have discovered some evidence to the contrary.


Proof  That Austrians Love To Share

Ok so it's a little overbearing to tell guests, even 'dear' ones that they must not eat their own lunch and, I presume, must share it with everyone present.

But although the sign is a little bossy it's well intentioned, because as Bono the tax dodging bozo will tell you, if you allow him, there are millions of people all over the world going without, he just focuses on the more photogenic ones! So sharing is good.

About the Author



The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."

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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

What do Arabs Know Roundabouts?

As this sign shows in both Arabic and English no one knows where the hell they are going and what will happen next in the Middle East.



In Two Minds About Visiting




I went to a few Middle eastern and Arab countries while I was travelling around researching my Travelogue and I have to say and I have to stress that if you are considering holidaying or worse living in any country in the Middle East do yourself a favour - DON'T!

There isn't one country that could boast having just three elements for a successful visit these three important elements are of course:

  • Cleanliness
  • Personal Safety Guarantee
  • Inviting Citizens - they are only after your dollars


But then of course that criticism applies to a number of countries that believe for reasons best known to themselves that they would make great family holiday destinations, such as Great Britain, India, South Africa and so on.




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Monday, July 18, 2011

Mmh I Think I'll Have 2 Plates of Big Holes!

I love travelling, though it has to be said that I didn't really enjoy the travelling I did while researching my forthcoming blockbusting, unputdownable bestselling book, which if you haven't heard is a Travelogue, called rather cleverly I thought, 'The Cat's Travelogue.'

Not only didn't I enjoy the travelling I was more or less forced to visit countries that I would never ever think of travelling to, such as oh Bangladesh, Pakistan and two or three African countries, where even the locals don't want to live in if they can help it and are desperate to immigrate from.

One of the great things about travelling is that you get the opportunity to taste the local cuisine or if you go to France you get to taste recipes stolen from the world's master cooks the Italians.

Sometimes when you travel to countries where, for reasons best known to themselves, they have yet to learn one's language their attempts to translate a menu into English has me (and I hope everyone else or I am wasting my time here) rolling in the aisles.

Here is a wonderful menu from a rather quaint restaurant in Madrid, as I said I rather fancy the 'Fried Big Holes' mainly because they must be better than the 'Calluses to the Madrilenian' surely?

Mmh I Think I ll Have 2 Plates of Big Holes  Madrid

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Saturday, July 16, 2011

Mixed Messages In Colorado

I love clear concise authoritative instructions but because I love pets I don't think I'll be going to this Petting Zoo in Colorado.

Mixed Messages In Colorado

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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Getting Into Hot Water In Tibet

One of the places that I visited the year before last while researching my forthcoming book 'The Cat's Travelogue' (which to my delight is deeply mired in all sorts of dreadful litigation) was China, and then after that Tibet which as you may or may not know is really a sort of Chinese colony and the place where the Chinese demonstrate their international relations prowess and manners so badly.

Just in case you, dear reader, don't understand why I'm so happy to be up to my neck in litigation with the bad boy countries of the world that I visited while researching my wonderful new book allow me to let you into a little secret. I sent copies of the relevant parts of my Travelogue manuscript to the embassies of the relevant countries and then sat back and waited for their usually outraged replies.

My plan is simple every country that is 'concerned' over what I have written can 'sponsor' me to exclude their country from my unputdownable thriller of a book, this has been describe by some of the more outraged countries as "blackmail" but to my way of thinking blackmail is such a dirty word and I prefer sponsorship.

This plan of course means that the book is growing and shrinking more than an Accordian playing the Star wars theme, it also means that if the countries in question stop providing their generous sponsorship my wonderful forthcoming book 'The Cat's Travelogue' may well be one of very few books to actually get bigger with each imprint as my sponsors have been warned!

Having said that the word 'sponsorship' is nicer than 'blackmail' I have to say that the Bush administration truly knifed the word 'sponsorship' in the ribs at the rear didn't it, when they started to describe countries as sponsors of terrorism. Odd really that you never saw a car bomber or indeed his car emblazoned with the logos of their sponsor countries!

Still I digress and I like to do that all to often, here below is the topic of this blog which has more to do with beverage dispensers than what I may or may not have said about the Chinese overlords in Tibet.

How do you like your water, cold? Or boiling? In Tibet you can have both from the same tap - now that is advanced! Who said that the brutal Chinese occupation and repression of the country was all bad?


Mind you if the appliance in question was made back home in the imperial country it probably doesn't work - like all products made in China.

Getting Into Hot Water In Tibet

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Monday, July 11, 2011

Religion Gets Tough In The UK

It's interesting to see that the church of England, that has suffered a significant decline in audience numbers over the last few years, is fighting back on all fronts.


Here the parking monitor St John the Divine lays down the law about illegal parking in front of the vestry! I didn't see any reference to what might happen to you or your car if you park in front of the vestry but biblical retribution is usually err... biblical isn't it?

Religion Gets Tough In The UK

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Friday, July 08, 2011

Frog What? No Surely Not!

Some of the signs I have seem on my travels researching my next amazing book 'The Cat's Travelogue' are self explanatory and then there are some signs that happily completely mystify me.

I am so glad I haven't a clue as to what this sign means and I'm even happier that I know I will stay ignorant forever, so please don't let me know what this sign means if you know there's a nice reader.


Frog What No Surely Not

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Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Free Hair, But Only After Nelson Mandela

Have you noticed that everyone is on the liberal bandwagon, now they want to 'free hair.' I think that they should free hair of course but only after they have freed all political prisoners.


So maybe this sign should read 'Free Hair But Only After Nelson Mandela!' Oops he's free isn't he! But you know what I mean!


Free Hair But Only After Nelson Mandela

About the Author



The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book 'Getting out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat's masterpiece of feline literature 'Getting out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary' can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www - wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as "exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic."





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Monday, July 04, 2011

Spelling Help Needed - Immediately

When you write a lot no matter how careful you are, in spite of spellcheckers, the occasional misspelling slips through the net and gets printed its just a fact of life, humans and sometimes Cats are not infallible.


However there is no excuse for a sign that has just six words on it and worse advertises an article in a newspaper about 'education!'

Spelling Help Needed Immediately


I hope all of my wonderfully cuddly readers spot the misspelling tee hee. Actually the word 'misspelling' looks odd on the page but the spell checker or is that 'spellchecker' says it is spelt correctly but then that in itself is a worry because all spell checkers use the American language's spellings by default which if you use proper English are all spelt wrongly!


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Friday, July 01, 2011

Australian Toilet Cleaner With Added 'Revenge'

When you have travelled the world as often and as far as this much travelled and rather clever Cat then you get the 'delight' experience of coming face to face with all sorts of interesting products, unfortunately some are really rather scary!


Australian Toilet Cleaner With Added  Revenge
I know that toilets can be rather um... messy places but what on Earth would drive you to the point that you need to take revenge on the poor old porcelain? Beats me! But then a lot of human activity does that!

Now can you see some of the dangers I bravely faced just to bring you my next book 'The Cat's Travelogue!' I am not only a genius but a brave one aren't I?



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Mmh Cat or Baby - Would You Change Your Baby For A Cat?

Sometimes humans completely and utterly confuse me with the things that they do and worse things that they think. Then when they then go on to create a sign to describe what they are doing or thinking they probably confuse themselves.

What is this sign all about - answers in a post to my wonderful blog appreciated.

Mmh Cat or Baby  Would You Change Your baby For A Cat

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