Friday, October 29, 2010

China's New Supercomputer Is The World's Fastest

When I read that China's Tianhe-1A supercomputer had taken the crown as the world's fastest supercomputer from the US and that the Tianhe-1A was capable of sustained computing of 2.507 petaflops a second – 1.4 times faster than Cray XT5 Jaguar I wouldn't say that I was all that impressed!

Why I hear you ask - well for one simple reason and that simple reason is I wondered where who the Chinese had stolen the design and blue prints from - let's face it China's technology industry is only good at assembling computers designed in the US and of course in the case of Apple designed by an English designer in the US but that bit of information is just jingoistic really - like say for example having the world's fastest supercomputer.

Below are a few images of my suggestions for what the Chinese computer may look like based on what they have copied so far. Although if it is really designed by the Chinese then it probably looks dreadful - just like the sound of its name.

Mac1.png




iPad.png




iMac.png


Actually I was going to add some examples from other computer manufacturers but as I looked through what HP, Dell, Acer and the rest of the bunch had to offer something horrible struck me - their computers are so ugly that they must use Chinese designers already so there was no choice but to use Apple really after all I am an honest Cat.

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Thursday, October 28, 2010

What Passes For Din-dins in Russia's Arctic Circle?

Ok this blog is not for the fainthearted or readers with weak stomachs.

Guess what Yogi's big brothers in the north of Russia are up to? Well it really isn't very nice. Bears are so hungry because of a shortage of their usual foods up in the frozen wastes of the Russian Arctic Circle that they are dropping down to the nearest cemetery and tucking into the frozen remains of humans.

Yep I am afraid that is right, graveyard grub is catching on in a big way up where brass monkeys fear to tread and this appalled Cat expects most restaurants in France to start dishing up their version very soon because of course all 'French Cuisine' as it is laughingly known comes from other cultures, mainly Italy of course where the people love food and love to cook wonderful delicious food.

Sad to say all the French did was to steal their recipes and get anal about the way the stuff should be served whereas the Italians just think that good food should be served 'generously' and if you don't believe me just think about Pavarotti - he would never have been the size he was if he had eaten Nouveau Cuisine would he?

So back to the Russian Bears and their enormous refrigerators full of - oh! sorry that is just too revolting to think about or write any more about - just like writing about French Cuisine to say nothing about the way the idiots drink their wine.

RussianBears.jpg



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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A Lot Of People Believe In Signs!

It is true a lot of people think that they see statues of major and minor deities and probably celebrities bleeding and doing all manner of rather revolting things and announce - "It's a sign!"

Some humans I know believe that they get privileged information from 'beyond' - oddly enough the contact 'beyond' is often a native American Indian - and are deliriously happy to announce that they have had 'a sign.'

I tend not to believe any of these 'signs' and as I continue to add to my collection of really very stupid signs I have discovered that I don't believe in the old fashioned tin on a pole type physical signs these days either do you?

Beware of the Grey ones then - Lake district.jpg


I have to ask - what on earth does this sign mean? Do only Red Squirrels drive slowly? Do we have to really keep a look out for the Grey ones because they drive like lunatics? You tell me!

I would also like to know what they are smoking locally? Or is there something in the water in the Lake District of England - it's where Beatrix Potter started talking to animals isn't it, so there is definitely something wrong there?

"Oh look there is another Rabbit with clothes on - is that an everyday occurrence in the Lake District I wonder.

clothed rabbit.jpg


It really makes you wonder doesn't it. Ok before you say anything what so ever I know that I am a talking cat and could even be described as very slightly anthropomorphic (as it were) but I have never ever dressed up in human clothes deliberately, yes there was that incident in my wonderful book my devoted readers will recall when my disguise went a bit wrong and I ended up plastered in make-up wearing a rather flouncy wig but that was an error that a lot of you humans make all too often if you believe what is written in the press.



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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Photographic Competition Winners And The Young

Recently the results of a photo competition run by the Sunday Times, the British Tourist Board and the people who don't do a very good job of looking after the railway network were announced and while the winner of the main prize produced a stunning picture of Corfe Castle in Dorset very near to where this Cat lived a long while ago I have to say, the entrant that this Cat liked best of all was from a much younger person.

Don't get me wrong - Corfe Castle, Dorset, taken by Antony Spencer is an excellent photograph it has everything that was needed to win a British landscape photo competition and it also proves that Mr. Spencer takes his art very serious and gets up very early in the morning and makes meticulous plans to achieve stunning results.

Smaller Corfe Castle, Dorset.jpg


On the other paw "Breakfast View," by Taliesin Coombes from Cardiff who won the 'Young Landscape Photographer of the Year' competition demonstrates everything that is great about young people he wanted to win a prize, he didn't want to get up early in the morning and most of all he wanted a full English breakfast, toast and a cup of tea and the result is perfection. One thing I would ask is where is the pepper and salt because I don't like the brown Sauce (HP)? But what and idea! What a picture! And what a nice tasty breakfast!

smaller Cardiff train station.jpg


You know I have a feeling that if I had submitted the photograph on the cover of my book I would have won first prize, especially if there was a category for "amazingly talented daredevil Cats" - maybe next year, what do you think?

book-cover.jpg


In the meantime if you need to get a copy of my wonderful photograph then happily you can get one or more here at Amazon.com or of course you can always get a signed copy of my marvellous book from my www.thecatsdiary.com.





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Monday, October 25, 2010

Supermarkets Selling Sub-standard Food Are Thieves!

As you probably know I currently live in Prague the capital of the Czech republic and that is because it is in the middle of Europe and it easy enough to hop from one country to another being thoroughly fabulous and star-like. It is also cleaner, cheaper, better looking and safer than London but that is beside the point!

Unfortunately Prague living does have one or two disadvantages the main one apart from the fact that the Czech republic is an atheist country whose people believe that their cleanliness is next only to their godliness - sounds funny you should get a whiff of the people and not only the men!

Anyway this Cat is digressing when he should be digesting after having had his lunch and so he will get to the point - "thankfully I hear some of you say at the back, well my advice stay at the back! What has grabbed my Goat today and actually ever since I arrived in Prague is the standard of their vegetables.

Billa.jpg


Now this may sound a little odd for a Cat to mumble on about poor quality vegetables, and indeed fruit as well especially Lemons in a land famous for Lemon Tea no less, but and it is a great big one, but, I'll say it again because it is so big, but the supermarkets here are like fascists and most German to boot and they seem to be only in favour of making ever larger quantities of cash and not bothering about the quality of what they sell to the in-the-main drag general public.

It also gets worse when I tell you just how these supermarkets treat shoplifters, yes before you say anything these shoplifters are filth and I am sure they make what you and I buy with our hard earned even more expensive than it already is but what I saw the other day really made me sick.

Some frail old lady, in sea blue old lady coat, with probably less than a couple of crowns to rub together was seen putting a bottle of washing up liquid into a back pack and not her shopping basket, silly old fool.

I know that was what she did because I watched the young greasy haired un-uniformed store guard - floor walker type as he watched her through a pile of cans of tomatoes, which were on offer, where he was hiding.

Well I thought no more about all of that bizarre behaviour though I couldn't get the nasty grin that the un-uniformed store guard had on his face, until that is, I got to the check-out and unfortunately had to witness this poor woman pay for the odd two or three things in her shopping basket and then be grabbed by what looked like two black jean clad bullies who managed to give a whole new meaning to the word "man-handling" as they dragged her away to a small office for what might have been a beating I didn't know what these bullies might do in private they seemed vigourous enough in public.

Worst of all I was not in a position to say anything because the bullies and the silly old thief of an old lady only spoke Czech - a language I refuse to even think about mastering - on grounds of stubbornness.

But the experience did make me think a few things the first is that the old lady was wrong of course, the second was that the un-uniformed bullies used too much force and the old lady should sue them for the bruises that they probably inflicted on both arms the proceeds from which would allow her to buy enough washing-up liquid to last her the rest of her life and hopefully a few more things as well.

However the main thing that this experience did is to allow me to think about crime, supermarkets and vegetables.

And here is what I have been thinking about! When I visit the states and go into a supermarket I can more of less guarantee that the 'produce' as the dear Americans call it is fresh, big, tasty, well presented. refrigerated, where necessary, and often even in some cases sprayed with a fine mist of water every so often to keep the 'produce' looking tempting to the consumer.

In England where I come from most supermarkets take pride in their "fruit and veg" department as they call it and though in the main the quality is not as high as American it is good and the "fruit and veg" is kept fresh and is therefore just like the American "produce" it is eminently edible after all that is why we buy it to eat it, if we eat fruit and vegetables that is.

So why do supermarkets in the USA and UK bother to keep things fresh and the ones in the Czech republic and frankly quite a few countries within vomiting distance of here, if you get food poisoning from the rubbish that they sell - simply it is because informed shoppers insist on quality unlike Czech shoppers and that means that three of the biggest supermarket chains in the Czech republic offer a lot of substandard produce, which is very rarely chilled or cared for in a way that would lead you to describe it as edibility let alone eminently edible.

When shopping in Prague I regularly pick up Onions that are off, and the same applies to Potatoes and Carrots. This is especially true if these vegetables are in plastic bags because they are either kept in a climate that encourages the bags to sweat or the produce is packed wet all of which makes the rotting process accelerate.

Ok I hear you say "produce/fruit and veg in the Czech republic is crap - move on to your point for God's sake!"

Well here is my point and I apologise for it taking so long to get to. If the supermarkets such as Tesco, Albert and in particular Billa (where I witnessed the bullying) arrest, man-handle and generally treat shop-lifters who steal from them so badly what should their customers do to them? Because they are selling us food that is fit only for compost and isn't it theft or something serious to sell goods under false pretences or misrepresentation I think so or indeed not fit for human consumption let alone choosy Cats, I think it most definitely is, we here are in the EU and the EU has a rule and law for everything.

So if you come to the Czech republic avoid the aforementioned supermarkets if you can and if not check your purchases of fruit and veg very carefully before you buy them. Or you could end up like me not only annoyed with the supermarkets inability to sell merchantable food but also sick. Yes I got sick sometime ago and when I went to the Docs (I try not to use the Vets) they took a sample of err how can I put this um, they took a sample of something that I no longer had a need for.

Then they sent it away for testing in the Public Health Lab, a lady called me a few days later and happily spoke English she told me I had food poisoning - she was obviously an expert I could tell, but then she asked if I had been in contact with Dogs, me! In contact with Dogs? It was clear that this lady didn't know me. When I asked why she said that the bacteria that cause my food poisoning had come from Dogs, I stopped her before she said anything else that would really make me sick, or sicker than I was already.

I had only eaten food from the local Billa and I it had cooked so I shudder to think what on earth they had done to it when it was in their care.

billa2.jpg


One last observation regarding vegetables on sale in the supermarkets of Prague is a brand of Carrots that are called Mrkev - it is apparently what Carrots are called in Russia, but I started calling them Mr. Kev which is sort of the way the packaging reads and it stuck with the English speakers I know here tee hee.

By the way one other thing that check-out proles do here is to scan items twice which means that you pay twice for the same item - surely that is also a form of shoplifting that just happens to go in the supermarkets favour - it is about time we the general public called the Police when tis happens isn't it?


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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Wales is an odd country!

Wales - where all the best sheep go.jpg


I have tried for a long while to figure out just what this sign meant - well the bits of the sign that are written in a normal sane language and not the rather redundant and little used Welsh - I have several ideas and here they are.

1. - Sheep Drop - what do the Sheep drop and why are they so clumsy in this area of the Welsh mountains?

2. - Sheep Drop - a danger area for Sheep especially short sighted Ewes.

3. - Sheep Drop - yep! That's right just tip any unwanted Sheep over the edge.




And now just to torture you here are the sentences above in Welsh!




1. - Defaid Galw Heibio - beth y gostyngiad Defaid a pham y maent mor drwsgl yn y maes hwn o'r mynyddoedd
Cymru?

2. - Defaid Galw Heibio - ardal beryglus ar gyfer defaid yn enwedig byr Mamogiaid ddall.

3. - Defaid Galw Heibio - yep! Mae hynny'n iawn yn unig tip unrhyw Defaid diangen dros yr ymyl.



And just think you don't know if I am really using Welsh or not do you? But don't worry billons of other people are thinking the same - gwirionedd yw bod y Gymraeg? Oh sorry I meant "is that really Welsh?"

If you want to know what my name is in Welsh sadly it is rather boring - Mae Cat obviously 'Cat' is 'Cat' in Welsh and 'the' is 'mae' which you have to admit is very mundane where as 'The Cat' in Czech is 'Kočka' now that sounds like a word with possibilities doesn't it?




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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I Know That It Is Nowhere Near Christmas - BUT!

I don't want to worry any of my readers, except the ones who haven't bought my book yet but there is, I have heard, been a bit of a run on stocks of my wonderful book "Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary" recently and I have been told by my rather panicky and excitable publisher that there is a possibility that supplies of my wonderful and eminently readable book might be in short supply this Christmas - a little like a Disney Buzz Lightyear toy and all of the other must have toys of the past.

With this in mind my advice to anyone wanting to buy my book for themselves or as a wonderful gift for a loved one is to get at least one copy now - just think if you buy two or more you'll probably be able to sell the others at a massive profit like the person at at Amazon.com who is currently charging double for his or her copy and they have probably read it - I call that a 'result' don't you?

If they have run out at Amazon.com don't forget you can always get a copy of my perfect book from my www.thecatsdiary.com.

It looks like this -

book-cover.jpg

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Old Bag Not Punished Enough

Mary Bale, 45, from Coventry, the dreadful woman who dumped a poor innocent Cat into a waste bin has only been fined was fined £250 plus £15 victim surcharge and court costs of £1,171.4p and sadly was reported 'near to tears' surely she should have been inconsolable for what she did and punished properly?

This fine does demonstrate the cost (and inefficiency) of British justice - the court costs are over four times greater than the amount expected to be paid as punishment - something is wrong there isn't it?

Mary Bale was also banned from keeping or owning animals for the next five years duh! You'd think she would be banned etc forever, she is not a nice person is she? The answer to that is in her behaviour surely - British justice is such and arse isn't it?

It is true to say that British justice is like a limp biscuit soft, mushy and makes a terrible mess on the carpet.


Over the next five years if you see this woman with an animal call the police immediately!





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Monday, October 18, 2010

Odd Signs - Elitist Penguins

Penguins - they really are evil aren't they?

Elitist Penguins.jpg





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Friday, October 15, 2010

Not All North Koreans Wield A-Bombs!

You know sometimes we think in stereotypes, we think it even if we don't say that - The Palestinians are warlike and don't want peace, we shouldn't trust Israelis when they are negotiating at the peace talks, and worst of all we say that all North Koreans want to do is to use their A-Bombs, I know we do that and I admit I am one of the worst for doing so probably and in doing so I hope that I don't lead too many of my dear fans astray.

It is for that reason that I have added this lovely innocent picture of children in North Korean dancing, they are like all children all over the world, innocent, kind and not one of them is wielding an A-Bomb or indeed hiding one behind their backs.

Not All Nth Koreans wield ABombs.jpg



If only politicians, guerrillas and all of the other people who can ruin our lives at the stroke of a pen or the pulling of a trigger would look at this picture and the hundreds of billions of little ones all over the world they might draw a breath and try things a different way for a change - wouldn't that be nice?

It only takes one picture, one gesture, one smile to start that sort of thing going I am pretty sure of that although of course Cats don't smile because it makes us look sinister for some unknown reason.

But then again maybe it won't because humans are not all that nice. I remember my translator saying that he had his laptop open and it uses a picture of his niece and nephew (who are Korean-looking) as a desktop picture and as a Czech woman who worked in the Human Resources Department of a large English speaking call centre here in Prague she asked "what have you got those on your desktop for!" Prejudice and hatred crop up when you least expect it don't they?



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Thursday, October 14, 2010

A Small Problem With Gas!

This very week marks the anniversary of a very brave attempt to cross the Atlantic Ocean by Airship. On
October 15 1910, the airship America slipped silently out of its hangar in Atlantic City and headed out to sea.

The 'jaunt' across the Atlantic Ocean in an airship was the idea of wealthy journalist and adventurer Walter Wellman who previously had failed to reach the North Pole and other undiscovered destinations in the same airship America.

The America's 6 man expedition into what was the complete unknown aeronautically speaking was led by a Cat of course and sadly some still point their fingers at the innocent but rather good looking tabby Cat even to this day, but in his defence it has to be said that Kiddo the Cat hadn't been asked to be put in charge of the expedition.

Melvin Vaniman and Cat.jpg


And of course it was rather odd for a Cat to lead such a difficult expedition of exploration and to complicate matter further this particular Cat had only signed on for the project just before departure and had received no formal training in not only sailing in an airship, but like most Cats in anything what so ever. Cats of course in normal life don't really need qualifications and training, they simply rely on their good looks and charm and their ability to cuddle almost anyone affectionately.

In fact Kiddo the Cat was what humans call a "Stray Cat" and had been sleeping rather comfortably in the America's substantial hangar and was initially picked up by Murray Simon the navigator who like many sailors was a little superstitious and knew that a Cat on board - no matter how unqualified - would bring them luck indeed wrote in his journal ‘We can never have luck without a Cat on board.’

Unfortunately not all of the crew agreed with Simon about Cats and the luck they can bring not only at sea and so as the airship was being towed from the coast by a tug boat, the not all that nice, Melvin Vaniman, who was the airship's the chief engineer (and indeed probably the reason the expedition failed), secretly stuffed the poor unsuspecting Cat into a bag and attempted to lower the Cat in the bag into the tug boat or the sea which ever was the closer.

However Vaniman's attempt to jettison Kiddo the Cat failed but not before the poor Kiddo the Cat was unceremoniously dunked into the sea and then pulled back onto the America - what a way to treat a Cat!

It is probably because of this behaviour that the crew decided to not only give the Cat a name "Kiddo the Cat" but also to make him Captain and let him lead the expedition, something that the rest of the crew later came to regret probably as the expedition lurched from one misadventure to the next.

After 38 hours of flying the engines failed and the unfortunate America began to drift. In a moment or two of panic the crew decided to jettisoned all excess weight which in their opinion included one of the broken engines, though happily deciding not to dump the Cat or any food, both decisions the Cat heartily welcomed.

To make matters worse Melvin Vaniman, the airship's the chief engineer, mixed up the gas release tap with the tea urn handle or something similar and the crew were treated to a rapid rise upwards to over three and a half thousand feet where the temperature has been described as a "bit nippy." This major loss of Hydrogen meant that the Airship eventually lost buoyancy and started to get alarmingly close to the surface of the ocean where if the crew were dumped in the drink they would have been not only a lot colder but a lot wetter than they wanted to be.

After six days of aimless drifting to and fro over the Atlantic, and having travelled a total distance of 1,370 miles (2,200 km) from the launch site in Atlantic City (a world record distance as it turned out), the Cat and crew spotted the Royal Mail Steamship Trent not far from Bermuda and reluctantly decided to abandon the America and were picked up by one of the RMS Trent's lifeboats.

Wellman Airship.jpg


Sadly the America drifted off out of sight and was never seen again although rumours abound that to this day it haunts the Atlantic disturbing Seagulls when it creeps up on them silently.

It is not known whether there was much in the way of Cat food on board the RMS Trent but the Cat became a minor celebrity with the crew and then later a much larger celebrity upon his triumphant return to the states.

As is the way with these things especially when they involve Cats Melvin Vaniman the crew-mate who had at the start of their journey tried to dump the Kiddo the Cat into the Atlantic became the firmest of friends with the Cat, which just goes to show that if you take time to get to know someone or indeed 'somecat' before your try to drop them overboard in a bag; life could be so much easier and of course less frightening for any aforementioned felines.

Vaniman & Cat.jpg


When Kiddo and the rest of the crew of the ill-inflated and ill-fated airship America eventually got home they were all treated like heroes especially Kiddo the Cat who was put on display in a gilded cage in the famous Gimbels department store. Fortunately Kiddo the Cat's life became more sedate later when he went to live with Walter Wellman’s daughter, Edith and entered a dry and peaceful retirement.




Authors thoughts:

If any readers have any more information on this brave and well travelled "Kiddo the Cat" as he was called (especially) pictures this Cat would be delighted to upload them in his honour because no matter where we live in the world we should always honour our heroes whether they are in civilian or military life.

When writing that I remembered - if you haven't seen the marvellous movie "Taking Chance" do. It is not only a very well made movie which will make you, rightly, extremely emotional it is great and fitting tribute to the military and their sacrifices in Iraq and by association in other conflicts.




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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Important - Updated Launch Dates - For NASA's Face In Space

My loyal fans might remember that back in July I mentioned on my wonderful blog here http://blog.thecatsdiary.com the NASA Face In Space Program which those amazing people at NASA and this peerless genius of a Cat had created so that you can send a picture of your extremely good self (and or a friend) into Earth orbit on board that wonderful thing called the Space Shuttle.

Well just to give you an up date the https://faceinspace.nasa.gov/index.aspx launch dates have been updated and can be viewed either below or by clicking this pretty blue link which will whisk you at the speed of either sound or light (depending upon your internet connection) or looking at the copy of the page that you will be whisked to below.

Of course this means that you still have time to join in and get your https://faceinspace.nasa.gov/index.aspx place if you see what I mean!


NASA.jpg



I really do recommend that you join in because this is probably the last opportunity to get into space safely for us ordinary folk, you could always take a chance on the Virgin Space Plane if you have hundreds of thousands of dollars spare and any faith what so ever in the blond Richard Branson's efforts. But frankly you only have to look at his F1 Team Virgin Racing to see just how well Virgin build anything that is supposed to be beautifully designed sleek and fast.

Mind you the poor 3-legged Virgin Racing team came into the F1 Racing series like a lion, with press releases, TV appearances, trumpets, fireworks, dozens of partly clad young ladies (who may or may not have lived up to the brand name) and so much more, with the blond beardy fella shouting his mouth off on radio and TV about how he was going take the established teams on and beat them at their own game but at the same time spend less money (billionaires don't tend to like dipping into their pockets of course).

If finishing last or nearly last if they finish at all in F1 races is what the 'established' teams have been doing all these years the blond beardy one has succeeded and must be congratulated but this Cat is not a moron and tends to think that Virgin and Hi Tech don't go together, maybe Virgin should stick to Spas and phones - oh sorry I forgot those endeavours have been sold off.

All of which suggests to this wary Cat that the best place for the $50-100 grand needed for a few minutes in space is better kept in your bank, surely it is safer to read all about the possible failure of the Virgin Space Plane than to be part of it!


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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Helpful Wheelchair Advice in Arkansas

Yes more signs - do you want to make something of it? Do you? Do You?

Helpful Wheelchair advice in Arkansas.jpg


The Cat knows someone from the intellectually dark state called Arkansas and therefore believes that it is just the majority of Arkansaurans who tend to answer the door when the phone rings - if you know what I mean!



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Penguin Terror Alert!

Penguin Terror Alert.jpg


The sign says it all - Never trust a Penguin

Unusual Signs

Humans as I think I have said in my latest book at Amazon.com and any number of times on my wonderful blog are rather odd.

Humans display these oddities in all sorts of ways and one of the most novel ways is in sign language. I have been collecting some signs that have been erected all over the world by humans who have carefully and deliberately, it would seem, disengaged their brains before writing the sign.


Strange Dog - Aren't they All?.jpg


"Aren't all Dogs strange?"


Don't forget that Christmas is coming and giving someone a copy of my book would be an honour for both parties you can get an electronic version of my wonderful book at most ebook retailers online, at Amazon.com and of course my www - wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com.

book-cover.jpg


"What a brilliant book cover it should be a sign!"



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Monday, October 11, 2010

More Scandal From the Commonwealth Games

Definitely A Woman But Drugged Out of Her Mind

Today it was confirmed that the Commonwealth Games women's 100m gold medal winner Damola Osayemi has failed a drugs test, but happily for a change other tests confirm that she is a female athlete and was rightfully allowed to compete in a woman's event, unlike a growing number of African athletes, particularly from South Africa, who have entered and won athletic events only to be discovered at a later to be men.

However with Damola Osayemi officials have definitely confirmed that she was indeed a woman, but in her case a woman who was drugged out of her mind.

Damola Osayemi's coach and Nigerian team officials have said that the banned substance that had been responsable for her drastic improvement in form might have been ingested while poor Damola Osayemi was taking medicine for a really bad toothache.

Others have said that a disgruntled Witch Doctor may have tricked Damola Osayemi into taking the banned substance or indeed that she and her trainer had secretly used banned drugs to enhance her performance in the same way that Olympic athletes have been doing for decades because of the enormous financial rewards that come as a result of winning sporting events to say nothing of the muscle tone that can be achieved with steroids and of course the possibility of becoming a successful politician in later life.

The picture below is of a happy smiling Damola Osayemi thinking about all of the money she is going to earn from the sport over the next few years, after she won the 100 metres event and probably just before she was given the news that she had failed the all important drugs test.

Definitely a Woman but drugged.jpg


For all of my American readers.

You may be wondering just what exactly is the "Commonwealth Games?" Well it is a rather poor imitation of the Olympic Games which attracts second division countries and their athletes to compete in countries that can't afford to host the games and in the case of this year's host couldn't get the various venues and stadia built and ready even though they had eight years to do so.

The 'commonwealth' part of the name "Commonwealth Games" relates to a group of ex British empire countries who are convinced that if they huddle together economically something wonderful will happen to them, as they have been huddling together since 1931 it is unlikely that this will happen.

The importance of the "Commonwealth" and the "Commonwealth Games" to the British public amounts to zero except for a very small and completely out of touch group of free loaders who count among their ranks the Queen of England, Commonwealth etc and her dreadful spawn who get to travel to the countries that comprise the Commonweath and in the case of the really awful prince Charles (the grumbler in waiting) and the insane dude of Edinburgh whine and moan about the heat and humidity, the flies and of course the people.


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Friday, October 08, 2010

Chinese UFO - An Apology (sort of)

On July 22nd this year I was minding my own business flying my private plane over China and unfortunately seem to have cause a bit of a stir for the poor little Cat eaters below! It seems as though quite a number of newly affluent Chinese peasants filmed me with their shiny new Japanese video and still cameras which were obviously hot of a near-by production line.

And to make matters worse a lot of scientists at a local observatory called the Purple Mountain Observatory took some snaps as well and then in spite of the amazing difficulties involved because of the draconian censorship laws that China has, have managed to post their video and indded the peasant's video as well on YouTube.

You know YouTube it is that awful site that when you visit it for any reason downloads advertising tracking cookies to your hard drive and then reports back enormous quantites of your personal private information to the people paying for the ads, information like who you are, where you live, what programs you run, and how many hairs your Granny has on her chin as well I imagine.

Anyway I would like to apologise to the Chinese peasants, the people at the Purple Mountain Observatory together with the boffins at the Chinese Academy of Sciences who all had a bit of a fright and most of all to the boffins at the Purple Mountain Observatory and Chinese Academy of Sciences are going to study the out of focus video for the next six months.

Furthermore I would like to say to these misguided boffins don't waste your time on the poor quality video of me whistling through your aerospace instead take that precious time and try and improve the quality of manufacture in your half asses factories because it doesn't matter what you buy these days if it has "Made in China" smeared on it you can guarantee that it will break very quickly or in the case of my translator's socks have holes in before he puts them on. What is it with the Chinese don't they wear socks?

Just think if the scientists did what this sagely Cat suggests and improved the quality of the manufacture of things they so hurriedly make in China socks might come with just the regulation 'one' hole in each foot and the video the scientists and peasants shot recently would be in focus and you all might be lucky enough to see me waving from the cockpit of my lovely silver plane instead of making daft statements to the press and of course adding more rubbish to the dreadful YouTube site and lining Google's pockets with even more of the folding stuff from the ads they show there and your personal private information they collect and (probably) sell without your knowledge.

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Thursday, October 07, 2010

Someone sent me this today!

As the title says someone sent me this today claiming that "Cats are so dramatic!"

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I'll leave it for you to decide, all I can say on the subject is that this is the recognised way to beg in Prague, it saves a lot of time having to endure and woset of all smell the beggars because you can walk straight passed. Mind you when beggars anywhere come up to me in the street and hold out their hands I say that "it's ok I don't need money and thenk them profusely." Imagine their confusion. NB

NB

This works better in countries where they speak English tee hee.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Today My Head Hurts

When I woke up today I was hot, sweaty, my headaches and my tail seems droopy and worse I didn't know where I was. I suppose that will teach me not to fall asleep on the radiator but in my defence I had no idea that the radiators were on. Usually the radiators aren't turned on until the end of October.

So to have the radiators turned on so early means that the winter is going to be harsh and that in turn means that Dave the Cat will be sporting his woolley hat for longer, gosh how I hate consequences!

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And of course as well as hating consequences I hate Dave the Cat's hat.

Monday, October 04, 2010

Lost Picture!

Hi All,

I am afraid that I have to admit that this Cat is only human - well as human as the idiots who do all of the clever work on his blog and website - you didn't expect me to accept any blame did you?

Today I wrote a blog about the inhuman treatment of a yet another poor Cat who was dyed pink by some clown in the UK and to add impact I added a picture which seems to have vanished from my blog duh!

Where the picture went I have no idea and so I thought I would try again and see if the web fingered, ham fisted web designers and fully qualified fools can get it right this time.

Here (hopefully) is the picture.

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Purrs,

 

The Cat

New To My Website Near You! Games!

My lovely fans you are so very lucky, not only can you read a lot of my latest and most wonderful my book, Getting Out - Excerpts from The Cat's Diary on my website and so much more to put a big smile on your face in these dark times but now you can have a lot of fun playing some marvellous Games which of course are all free online games all you have to do is click here - Games or of course on the previous link tee hee!

The Games (if you forgot you can click the word Games to play these super Games) are all free and best of all, about things that Cats really like such as themselves, Cat food and Kites - oh there's one game about a Dog for Dog lovers because they probably like Cats as well and yes even the Dog's game is free.

I think my favourite game is the Kite game because I love Kites and saving Mice (for later when no one is looking tee hee), but the Virtual Pet game given to me expecially by Purina Cat Food is pretty cool. Of course there will be some advertising on the free online games page - but hey a Cat has got to live and although times are hard and a click is easy!

The Kite and Virtual Pet

After Cat In A Bin Comes Pink Cat!

What are you humans like?

No I won't say animals because as far as I know you don't see any animals ever dumping innocent Cats in 'wheelie bins' or unbelievably dyeing each other pink. You can't even say that humankind is sub-animal because I am pretty confident that even if they had hands and access to pink dye, Slugs wouldn't be caught dyeing each other pink either!

So why the rant? Well just look below at this latest 'inhuman' act, someone dyed a poor innocent Cat pink and dumped it in an unsuspecting neighbours garden in the UK - again.

What is it with you humans and innocent Cats, I hope that soon you go back to picking on each other on the grounds of religion, caste, colour, creed, size of nose, where you live and on and on and on.

Gosh I am glad I am not human, in fact I am sure that being a pink Cat would be better than being human, at least I could wash the pink off!