Saturday, October 31, 2009

News Flash!

NEWS FLASH! It's snowing on my site - - and you can jingle your own bells!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Talking of Pictures!

While we are on the subject of pictures a lot of people have asked to see a picture of my translator Mr Woodcock and so I told him to get his own blog if he wants to go around showing off.

But if enough people ask in the next month of November, say three har ha, I will put a picture of him on my blog.


I thought it would be nice to share a picture of my Mum with you! I think this is her.

My Favourite Animal

Someone asked me recently what was my favourite animal?

"That," I said is simple. "I like Cougars they are my most favourite animal - well after myself of course!"

Recently this occured to me!

There is a serenity that comes over you when you lose that last shred of self respect.

The New Three Men in a Boat

Some nice person described my humble work of genius, my latest book "Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary," as the new "Three Men in a Boat."

Now if you have read that masterpiece you will know just how much of a compliment that is and just how good my book has to be!

I am so proud of me!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Getting Out - Excerpts from A Cat's Diary - Home

Getting Out - Excerpts from A Cat's Diary - Home

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The Most Handsome Cat in the Universe

Until recently I used to say that I was a famous author, wit and probably the most handsome Cat in the universe but someone told me Cats aren't out 'there' yet!

Mmh I beg to differ I know one or two Cat's who are definitely 'out there!'

Look Where You Can Follow Me!

I am on Twitter and one day I will probably learn why! But at least you can follow me there, it will be like the blind leading the blind but hey what do we care?

Sadly 'good old' (some say) Google won't let the twitter button whizz you away from my blog so here is the address of my wonderful twitter page.

Something Really Dreadful

From a disappointed Cat.

I saw this on my page here like probably some of the more observant amoung you. It did have a pretty logo but I am sure you recognise it.

"Spice up your blog
Choose from thousands of gadgets to add to your blog."

So I tried, I really did, I tried very, very hard and failed, why oh why are these sorts of things so naf? I would rather talk to the Dog and not enjoy his variety of spicing up things (see definition of a 'rotter' in my book for more information), than use any of these widgets or whatever they are they insult even my intelligence - mmh I think that came out wrong, but you knwo what I mean.

God is Good but is that it?

I have a lot of interaction with the public, well I know that is my fault of course because I am a superstar and I know I will never learn, I just get more famous and more people interact with me.

Still that isn't all that important, because today dear readers I want to talk to you about God.

Unfortunately I get a lot of people who write to me about him or should that be Him 'he' does always seem to get a capital letter at the beginning of his name, I should t know that because I copied Him.

Well I get idiots - oops sorry people writing nonsense like this from an otherwise nice lady the other day."God is Good, praise him (she missed the capitalisation of His Him)on high."

I wrote back "yes god is good but so are prawns, little children and comfortable beds it is just that God has a better marketing department," and sadly she didn't seem to be too impressed and made some unGodly comments!

It was a shame she go so mad because I was going to ask her about the "praise Him on high," bit.

Was it an instruction to climb a hill, or is that why churches have tall towers? But she doesn't speak to me any more, so much for Christian forgiveness and compassion.

Have a great day all of you!

Husbands and Automated Litter Trays

Someone wrote to me on my website,, and told me that they had just bought a Cat.

To be honest I don't think that this is the right place to go into the subject of buying and selling animals but I have to say, as a Cat, unless you are paying an absolute fortune for a Cat and a significant portion of that fortune goes to the Cat in question, then I really honestly think that the trade in Cats is dreadful.

Anyway, this nice lady asked me how she should get her new Cat used to the idea of going to the toilet in doors, a subject which I have discussed at length in my wonderful book "Getting Out - Excerpts from a Cat's Diary," which is available to all for a small fee at or my 'www'- wickedly, wonderful website, address above.

This lady said that she went ahead and bought a Cat even though her husband doesn't like Cat's, then she wondered if she should, and I quote, "get him one of those fancy automated litter boxes first to get him used to the 'idea?'"

My answer was simple. "I am guessing that you are talking about your husband here, who by the way should like Cats, we are a class act." Which of course is very true, then I continued about the idea of getting her husband an automated litter box.

"It might help, but I imagine that your husband is probably a bit set in his ways now and probably wouldn't want to change his habits of a lifetime and use, err, how can I put this - other facilities!"

A fair point I thought, feeling a little, though not very sorry, for the husband in question.

"I hope that helps. As for the Cat - well some take to litter trays, automatic or otherwise, and some don't. But most cats are not only clean but also clever and so they usually get used to the idea of using the toilet in doors.

I reassured her and said "I think that a new Cat would absolutely adore the idea of an automatic litter box, it sounds like a real bit of hitech kit that no Cat should be without. There is something else to consider though as well, and that is whether your new Cat would share it with your husband!"

Well I hope that helps a lot.


The Cat

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

They Say Finish with a Big One

So here is a great picture of a big star me!

What people have said about my book!

There is nothing like good honest criticism so there is nothing like getting comments from people who have read my books.

And I would most of all like to thank everyone who has bought my book so far but especially those who told me exactly what they thought of it, bless them! And so I thought I would share their comment with you dear readers.

By the way, I have of course not changed any names, spelling, grammar etc., these comments are exactly as they were sent to me, I promise Cat's honour, and I can tell you the temptation to run a spell checker or change some of the grammar, capitalise letters, get rid of rogue spaces and triple full stops and add punctuation was almost irresistible.

But here are some of the comments that people have sent me, so far I haven't had a bad one - will you be the first? Well you'll have to buy my book to find out won't you!

One of the things I liked about The Cat was that he had very strong opinions on almost everything: British/US spelling such as color (I have always thought that Americans cared about ‘U’ after all they are always wishing one, ‘You have a nice day,’), hygiene (”Is there anything more hygienic than a Cat?“), taking notes (”it is a little like talking to one’s self and therefore should be kept to a minimum because it must be a sign of madness“), and many many more. Nevertheless he does admit he cannot know it all, usually justifying it by saying something like “what do I know, I’m just a cat” :)

The book contains some pretty funny scenes, one of my favorites being the part where Cat’s “Captors” try to acquaint him with the litter box. When I got my cat one of the first things I did was to look up on Google how does one get a cat to use the litter box. The answer was something along the lines of “show him the litter box, then take its front paws and dig around a bit”. Which is what I did (and luckily my cat got the idea from the first) and also what Cat’s owners (slash “Captors”) did. It was thus interesting to see the situation I’ve been in through Cat’s eyes — he considered it to be forced labor! :) :)

It is perhaps worth mentioned that reading this book has been a novel experience for me, because I was, for the very first time, rooting for the main hero not to succeed I didn’t want the story to end.

Chuy Maloney
Great book, Mom is still reading it too me (she's been busy with rescue lately). I can't wait for the next chapter!

Tina Samuels
hello again my furry little friend. just wanted you to know im about halfway through this book of yours.i will explain.  not too long after i got the damn thing i started reading it and of course im living and breathing so i lauhed till i hurt. in the meantime i became ill and ended up having a very large surgery on my abd and well lets just say i can identify with the trip to the vet and a few other things thrown in for good measure. im currently convalesing at home and have recently been able to start your book again.

my husband being the greatest guy in the world printed out and brought your book to me in the hospital to read not knowing what it was about nor did he care and at first i was so happy then i started to read and you should know that if you have had abdominal surgery, this book isnt for you at that time. i laughed and then criedliterally. so now im at home and can read again without pulling mucles. i have to stop from time to time because the laghing will make my sides sore.   the dr. gave me the ok to drive last week and  someone was giving away kittens. now i have never been a cat person.

always dogs which i have two of. schnauzers mimitaure and they are quite rotten but i wanted a cat and continue to want one. my husband of course says no and not in a polite way so just wanted you to know what uproar has been caused at this houshold and my husband and i agree it is all your fault. im loving it but still one must place blame where it belongs. i will let you know when i bring the cat home. im thinking of actually getting a kitten. what do u think since you started all of this? sending you and yours love, tina

Emily Court
hahahaha.... book is very good!

Bonnie Francis
I started reading what you sent me and I'm quite anxious to read more.

Lisa Marie Noel
I really thought your book unique, quirky and lovable. Definitely a different point of view, but it works. You really have a lot of talent. With respect L

Natalie Zieske
As you asked I've been reading your book and am enjoying it. The first day I started reading it, Marco joined me and laid at my head on the back of the couch. So he's enjoying it too! I'll write when I've finished reading it. Have a wonderful day!

Rose Bunch
Its refreshing to read something other than the other books I've read.

CJ Thomas
I finally finished your book today, Loved your Attorneys remarks. Simple things can really turn out to be extrodinary.

Michelle Simbamufica
It’s awsome i cant put it down . cant waiy until this weekend so i can stay in bed and read it properly. thank you

Tammy Bowen
i have been reading your book and its been a pure blessing to read.i wanted to pass it down to my daughter and grandaughter when she got bigger.

Christine Cooper
Hope you sale a million copies CAT.

Celeste Hines
Your book is very entertaining, indeed. Altho' I am more doggish (okay, canine) than cattish (all right, feline!).

Dee Ann Wolfe
The book is PURRRRfect it awesome =]

Diana Scherman
I already have read your book and it is "hilarius".  I think that you are cool.  Us cat people are really great ones.   We are so much fun to be around.... I wish you the best of luck !! Keep the faith...

Remell Eli
What a totally great concept. Im flattered you asked me to read the book - as most your friends would be i guess.

Sera Finn
I am seriously Laughing out Loud as I finally got over here and read some of your book! Very creative, you are! And yes, I still like to speak like Yoda! heh!

Deborah Coffey Collette
You are a very talented writer. Great imagination.

Kimberly Heldt

Carol Miss
: ) hi just read the excerpt and was just thinking of you and admiring your wonderful humor! Hope you are having a spectacular weekend!

Lou Carpenter
Thanks for the file I may buy the book when it is out it dose seam interesting, I only read a few pages, but I rather hold a book then read it from the computer, so yes I may get it some time later. I found it very entertaining and what I read was very enjoyable reading.

Melba Akers
Love what I see so far. I have not been able to read all of it as of yet, but I am looking forward to it. Meowwww!

Delia Garcia

I must say I loved your first 20 pages... actually, I lmao! I'm dying to know how you got outta the It was a very entertaining read, one all too well which I can relate too... bravo!! Have a great day w/ Mrs.

The Cat's Empire is Spreading

In the old days you were only able to see me The Cat in one place and that was at my little old website, then there was and more recently so as you can see I was spreading it around a bit as male humans often say when they are being boastful.

But things have changed and you can catch me here at, here and here all of which means that I am here, there and everywhere just like the true and exceptionally wonderful superstar I are - oops that should be I am but it rhymes nicely doesn't it don't you think?

So now if you miss me it will simply and unfortunately be that you are stupid, I am sorry but sometime you have to be hard on humans and be cruel to be kind.

I love you all especially if you buy my book, here or here at using this tiny url, there told you I was everywhere.